Paradise Lost
by edennn
Summary: Reed Brennan could really use a vacation. Luckily for her, she has been accepted back into Billings and will join them on a trip to St. Bart's over winter break. But before the vacation can begin, Reed must take care of some unfinished business.
1. Chapter 1

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_And then everything went black…_

I couldn't believe this was happening again. Sure, I was used to crazy, psycho, Easton students, but I didn't even see this coming. Sweet little Sabine was the sister of Arianna, and ever since she'd come to Easton, she'd been trying to finish what Arianna never had the chance to do. It was all so overwhelming. These are the thoughts that went through my head the few second after the lights went off.

And then a loud bang exploded in my ears. A gun shot. For a moment, because of all the darkness and silence, I feared I was dead. And then the screams began. The people around me began to move, but no one could see where they were going. Murmurs rippled through the room. Okay, Reed, calm down, you aren't dead. But why is everything so dark?

"Reed, where are you? Are you okay?" Finally, a familiar voice. It was Noelle's. Okay, so I'm definitely not dead.

"Right here," I said, reaching out towards the direction of Noelle's voice.

A small cold hand closed around mine. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Noelle. What happened to the lights? Who was shot?"

"I don't kn…"

Suddenly the lights came on. Noelle immediately pulled me into a hug.

"Oh my god, Reed. I'm so glad your okay. I heard the gun shot and I thought you were…" she never finished the sentence, because suddenly policemen entered the room.

"Attention Easton students, this is Headmaster Cromwell. I advise you to stay where you are, do not even move an inch, until we get to the bottom of what is going on here."

"Noelle, where is Sabine?" My voice dropped as I asked this.

Instantly we both turned around to where, just 2 minutes ago, Sabine was standing with a gun in hand. Noelle and I gasped at the exact same time.

Sabine was sprawled on the ground with a puddle of blood around her. The gun was a few feet away from her body on the floor. Other students, who had discovered Sabine before us, stared at her body in shock. I was sure that Noelle and I had the same expression on our faces. A few questions ran through my head. Had Sabine shot herself, or had someone shot her? Who?

Two policemen approached Sabine's body and began taping off the area around her. Another called on his radio for an examiner. Noelle pulled me into another hug.

"It's all over now. No more worrying. No more psycho after you."

It was all so overwhelming that I couldn't help with start to cry.

"Reed, honey, don't cry. It's all okay now. Sabine is dead. Nothing more to be afraid of," Noelle whispered into my hair. I cried for a few minutes without saying anything.

"Actually," I murmured into her shoulder, "I'm not scared. I'm… relieved."

"Well in that case, stop crying. You're getting my dress all wet. This is Valentino, Reed, it's not exactly cheap."

This made me laugh. "There's the real Noelle I know and love. The one that doesn't hug or let people cry on her shoulder. The one who's more concerned with her dress than her friend." She glared at me. "That last part was a joke."

"We all have our tender moments. And just so you know, I was telling you not to stop crying because everything is okay now."

"I know."

"And just so you know, Reed, you're my best friend. Now that we know the true story of what happened, all is forgiven. I've really missed you these past few weeks."

"Awwww," I cooed. "Noelle Lange has a sweet side."

"Not if you keep this up. Tell a soul and I'll ruin you." She smiled, and hugged me, yet again.

* * *

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Four hours later I was sitting at a cheap fake wood table in a cold metal folding chair at the police station. After my little tender moment with Noelle, the police had separated everyone at the party into two groups. The people who were simply at the party but not a witness to Sabine's confession were sent to their dorms. Those of us who were witnesses had each been taken in a squad car to the police station for questioning. I hadn't seen Noelle since. When Detective Haur came to talk to me, he told me that they had flipped the building breaker to make the power go out at the party, and then a policeman had shot Sabine in the back of the head just before she was about to shoot me. So, if we weren't criminals, was it really necessary to put us all in separate rooms for questioning? I was really hoping to get to see Josh, but so far, no luck. Ever since my questioning was over, I'd been sitting in this chair pondering all the different reasons Josh had said he wanted to talk to me. I had come up with bad scenarios and good scenarios, and I was very anxious to talk to him. I was daydreaming about more scenarios when a policeman opened the door to my little questioning room and told me I was free to leave with everyone else. Thank God!

I walked straight out of the police station and into the Easton shuttle happy that, finally, this was all over with. As I walked out of that police station, I let go of all the fear and worry and panic over what had been happening to me the past few months. Sabine was gone, so maybe, hopefully, I would get to finish the year drama free. And I was really hoping that since Sabine admitted to drugging Dash and I, Josh would break up with Ivy and take me back. I took a seat on the shuttle and closed my eyes. I was so tired. I heard a sigh and a plop, and I opened my eyes to see Noelle sitting beside me.

"Hey sleepy head. How was your questioning?"

"Oh it was absolutely terrific. Sitting in a police station is so much fun."

"Tell me about it. Metal folding chairs are so not my thing. My butt kept falling asleep. I can't wait to collapse in my bed back at Billings."

I laughed. "You know, maybe I should just stay here. That metal chair was so much more comfortable than my Pemberly bed," I joked.

Noelle looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Oh god, I can't believe I forgot to tell you! You're back into Billings. We still have to hold a vote, but don't worry. If I say your back, your back." She smiled.

"Really?"

"No, I'm just screwing with you." She watched my facial expression turn to one of horror. "God, Reed, I'm just kidding. Of course you're back into Billings. I was going to tell you that I was considering it at the party. But now that Sabine revealed the truth, you're definitely back in."

I had the hugest smile on my face as I hugged Noelle.

"Thank you so, so, so much," I said, almost squealing as we pulled into the Easton gates.

"Oh please," she scowled. "Let's just get to Billings and into bed. I know I'm ready to sleep for about 12 hours, and you look like you could use a lot more than that."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

We climbed off the bus and headed towards Billings.

"So I was thinking you could just crash here for the night and we'll just go pack up your things from Pemberly when we wake up."

"Sounds good to me."

We got to Billings to find a vast majority of the girls asleep in the parlor. It looked like they'd been waiting for us to get home. Noelle and I laughed.

"Should we wake them up?" I asked.

"They're probably just as tired as us, so no."

I followed her up the stairs to her room, the whole time observing Billings. While nothing had changed, everything about the house seemed different. I guess once you've been kicked out, it never felt the same as it once had. In Noelle's room, I stood awkwardly as she dug in her dresser for something. After opening and closing a few drawers, she threw me a bundle of clothing.

"Pajamas for you. I feel gross. I'm going to rinse off in the shower. Get changed and go to sleep. You can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thanks Noelle. Sleeping in jeans isn't the most fun thing."

"I know, I'm just so thoughtful," she said, entering the bathroom. I could hear her laugh through the wall until she turned the shower on. It was really great to hear her laugh again, and to talk to me without pure hatred in her voice.

I unwrapped the bundle of clothing to find the softest black silk satin pajama pants ever. I gasped as I looked at the label. La Perla. Quickly doing the math in my head, I calculated that these had cost about $150 more than my flannel sleep pants back in Pemberly, which I had bought on sale at Target. It's slightly funny that, even though I'm constantly surrounded by expensive things and carry around a rare Chloe bag, I'm still amazed at the discovery of expensive pajama pants. I guess that's proof I'll never get used to this extravagant new life of mine. I turned out the lights and crawled into Noelle's bed, burying myself in her thick down comforter. I was so glad to be back in a comfortable Billings bed that before Noelle was even out of the shower, I was dead asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

author's note:I'm so happy that there are reviews that I'm posting a new chapter tonight :). So for some reason there was weird coding at the top of the last chapter, not really sure why, but hopefully that won't keep happened. Oh and I forgot a disclaimer, whoops.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Private or any of the characters, The wonderful Keiran Scott, aka Kate Brian, does. This is just me trying to fill the void in my heart (haha) until the real Paradise Lost comes out.

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I awoke to someone banging on the door.

"Noelle! Wake up!" the person repeated several times. In my groggy state, I didn't recognize the voice.

As the banging continued, I rubbed my eyes, stretched, and looked at Noelle's alarm clock. What was so important at 9 am?

"Noelle," Amberly whined, "Get up, come on, I need to talk to you. Don't make me come wake you up." I had never been so annoyed to hear Amberly's voice in my life.

"Amberly go away. Whatever it is, I can assure you it's not more important than my beauty sleep," Noelle called from somewhere under a mass of blankets on the couch.

But of course, the door burst open and Amberly came in. This girl was ridiculous. Her pajamas were matchy-matchy just like everything else she wore. Just because your outfit matches doesn't mean it looks good.

"Someone is here to get Sabine's things. I just thought you'd want to know. And what the hell is she doing here?" She gave me a dirty look.

Noelle emerged from the blankets. "Seriously, Amberly? You woke me up for that? Go away. Let them take the Sabine's things, I don't care. Don't ever come in my room like that again. And be respectful to Reed or we're going to have big issues."

"But she's not even in Billings anymore!"

"Not officially. But we're holding a vote today. Now leave."

Amberly stood still for a second, like she was about to say something. Then she turned around, tail between legs, and left, slamming the door behind her. Noelle went right back to sleep. I knew I probably couldn't go back to sleep, so I took a shower. A very hot, very relaxing, very long shower. All the drama Sabine had caused went down the drain along with the water.

When I emerged from the bathroom an hour later, Noelle was sitting at her desk on the computer, already perfectly dressed with perfect makeup. How could she manage to look so perfect when we had gotten less than 5 hours of sleep?

"Hey. You totally can't wear last night's outfit today, so you can borrow something of mine. You can wear whatever, but I set aside a few things on the bed that would look really good on you." Translation: You can have your pick at my clothes, but if you better wear what I picked out.

On the bed was a pair of jeans, a red long sleeve shirt, and a simple pair of boots that looked very comfortable. I quickly got dressed and towel dried my hair.

"Those jeans are amazing on you! I figured you'd want to be comfortable. And even though I disapprove of your plain-jane wardrobe, we'll deal with that later."

"So what's on the schedule for today?"

"Well, first, get your stuff from Pemberly. Then I need your help with a little mission of mine, since you like detective work and all."

"What kind of mission?"

"A secret one."

"Noelle, I don't want to get involved in any more drama."

"Not so fast. I happen to know that this is something you definitely don't want to miss out on."

"What are you talking about?"

"I need your help getting rid of Amberly."

"Getting rid of her? Why?"

"Obviously I'm the only one who ever liked her, but no one wanted to disagree with me. But now Amberly is really getting on my nerves. We'll talk about it later, though. Lets go, Pemberly is waiting."

We walked downstairs, where the rest of the girls were hanging out in the parlor.

"Reed!" they all shouted at once.

"Are you back in Billings?" I heard someone ask.

"Girls, please. Let's spare the question and answer session. I've decided that I would like it if Reed was back in Billings, so we'll hold a vote and see if you all agree."

She pulled me into the entry way. "I was thinking we could just do the vote now and get it over with. So would you be okay with heading over to Pemberly now and I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes?"

"Um, sure. I'll just…be at Pemberly," I said, walking out the door.

Outside it was an unusually nice day. I didn't even need my jacket. I guess the weather gods were on my side. As I walked across the quad to Pemberly, whispers and stares surrounding me the whole way. I really didn't want to deal with drama right now, so I ignored everyone trying to talk to me and just went straight to my old room. Luckily I hadn't really ever unpacked, just thrown my bags in the closet, so I didn't have much to do. I packed up the stuff in my desk and took the sheets off my bed.

"Knock, knock."

I jumped, startled, and turned around. It was Ivy and she was holding a vase filled with coral roses.

"Aww Ivy, how thoughtful," I joked. "But I think you have the wrong idea about our relationship." We laughed.

"Actually, they were delivered early this morning. You weren't here so I signed for them," she said handing me the vase.

"Thanks," I said, opening the card.

_Reed-_

_These are for being so brave last night._

_-Anonymous_

"So who are they from?"

"It's signed anonymous. How lame is that?"

Ivy laughed. "Well, just so you know, coral roses signify desire. Looks like someone is interested in you."

"Oh god. I really don't need a secret admirer right now."

"You never know. It could turn about to be someone worth dating."

Unless Josh was my secret admirer, that was impossible. "I don't think so."

Ivy turned her gaze to the suitcase on my bed. "Leaving so soon?"

"Um yeah, Noelle invited me back to Billings."

"You know, that's kind of disappointing. I was hoping you'd stay around. We could be the Billings version of the 'one that got away.' But I know how much Billings means to you, so congratulations are in order."

"Thanks, Ivy. That means a lot to me."

"So how was your night? I heard they took people down to the police station."

"Yeah, just for questioning. They wanted to know why Sabine had a gun pointed at me. How was your night?"

"Bo-ring. I just came back here and collapsed. I was exhausted. Then Josh woke me up early this morning via text message. He wanted to talk." She sighed.

I didn't really know what to say to that, so I stayed silent.

Ivy looked me right in the eye and said, "we broke up, Reed. Mutual decision." My jaw dropped.

"Oh…wow." I was speechless.

"He still really loves you, I hope you know that. And when you two finally get back together, if you ever break his heart, I will make it my mission to hurt you. You can trust me on that one."

I was so shocked that I had to sit down. Did Josh tell her he loves me, or was that just her assumption?

"Cat got your tongue?" Ivy said.

"I'm so sorry Ivy." Why didn't she seem upset?

"It's fine. We never would have lasted anyways." Oh, I guess that's why.

"Oh… okay."

"Anyways, awkward conversation over. Bye Reed, have fun back at Billings," she said, giving me her signature icy look. Was she mad at me now? What happened to being friendly?

"Yeah... Bye Ivy."

She walked to the door, turned the handle half way, and turned around.

"Don't be a stranger, Reed." I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been keeping. Thank God she's not mad, I don't need to be on Ivy Slade's bad side ever again.

"I won't."

Flashing me a rare smile, she turned back around and left. I was still sitting on the bed when, about 20 seconds later, Noelle came in.

"Tell me I did not just see Ivy Slade leaving your room."

"Uh, yeah. It was her. We're sort of friends now."

"Didn't see that coming. Well anyways, you are officially back in Billings, Reed Brennan."

I smiled, jumped off the bed, and hugged her.

"Thanks, Noelle."

"Yeah, whatever. No thanks necessary. Who are the flowers from?"

"Anonymous."

"Aw, my little glass licker's got a secret admirer. What are we, sixth graders?"

"Yeah, its lame."

"But the person obviously has very good taste in flowers. Roses are a great, classic, choice. I like the color also."

"Yeah, roses are my favorites. And coral is one of my favorite colors."

"Looks like someone did some investigating before sending them. Interesting."

"Yes, very."

"So are you all packed?"

"Yeah, just about," I said, picking up my laptop and putting it in its case.

"Good. Trey should be here any minute."

"Trey?"

"Yeah, I asked him to help with your bags so we wouldn't have to carry them."

"Oh okay. Thanks."

"No problem. So let's hurry up and get back to Billings. I can't wait to show you your room!"

* * *

By 3 pm that afternoon, I was completely settled into my new room. Tiffany had been nice enough to give up her single room so I wouldn't have to sleep in the same exact bed Sabine used to occupy. Noelle had somehow found the time (or hired someone) to decorate the room with a new rug, comforter, lamps, and set of curtains, all in shades of coral, pink, and orange. It was something straight out of a PBTeen catalog and I actually liked the way it looked. What can I say, Noelle has some serious connections. Astrid started to organize my closet in color order while Constance unpacked everything for my desk and bookshelf. Kiki was playing an amazing playlist on her iPod dock and Tiffany was, of course, taking pictures. London, Vienna, and Noelle were lounging on my bed and I was lying on the fluffy rug feeling tired. The other girls were coming in and out to say hi and welcome me back. It was exactly the kind of girl bonding I had expected when I moved into Billings and I was having a good time.

"So, Reed, what are you wearing to Kiran's party?" came Astrid's voice from somewhere in the direction of my closet.

I had completely forgotten about the party. I'd actually been planning on taking a nap as soon as the little party in my room was over. I bit my lip.

"Don't worry, Reed. I've got you covered," said Noelle.

"Actually, I'm really tired. Do you think Kiran would kill me if I skipped out on this one?" I said, yawning for emphasis.

"Well…she wanted to catch up with you, but I think she'll understand. You were almost killed yesterday, you could use some rest," Noelle replied.

"Yeah, you've got some major dark circles under your eyes. I can loan you a great concealer if you want," Vienna offered.

"Reed are you sure? Maybe you just need to get out and have some fun," Constance suggested.

"No, I just really need some rest. I haven't gotten much sleep lately."

"Are you sure you're okay here, alone?" Astrid asked.

"Yeah. Sabine's gone now, I have nothing to be afraid of."

"Aw, we'll miss you!" Vienna said.

"Yeah, I can't believe your going to voluntarily miss one of the biggest parties of the year," London said.

"London don't. She doesn't want to go, and we're all okay with that, correct girls?"

I gave Noelle a 'thank you' look as the girls nodded.

"Okay, now that we have all that settled, everyone should probably start getting ready. Cars will be here at 5 to take us to the city."

Most of the girls scrambled out of the room to get ready. For them, two hours was barely enough time to make themselves presentable for the party.

"I wish you were coming so we could hang out, but you do need rest. I'll see you later."

"Thanks, Constance. Make sure Tiffany takes a ton of pictures so I don't miss a thing,"

"When does she ever not take a million pictures?"

I laughed. "Point taken."

"Are you sure you're okay, Reed?"

"Yeah, Noelle, I'm fine. Just tired, no sleep lately."

"Alright, but if you start to get all depressed and lazy on me with an "I'm just tired" excuse, I'll have no choice but to stage an intervention," Noelle joked.

"Dang you're onto my plan!"

"Yeah, sure. Well I have to go shower. Have fun sleeping, Reed."

* * *

That was exactly what I did. It was about 6:30 when I woke up from my nap. I had nothing to do, so I sat down on my window seat to see if anyone was on the quad. I laughed when I realized that, if Noelle were here, she would tease me for being a glass licker.

I wonder if they're having fun at the party. I wonder how over the top it is. I wonder how many people came to help Kiran celebrate. I knew all of Billings and a lot of the Ketlar boys were there, as well as all of Kiran's friends and acquaintances, so there must be a ton of people. I continued to daydream about the party until my phone buzzed on my bedside table.

From: Josh

i thought you'd be at kiran's party.

From: Reed

i decided I'd rather catch up on sleep. how do you know i'm not there?

From: Josh

i can see you in the window

It was then that I realized, if I looked directly across the quad at Ketlar, I could see Josh's room. I spotted him standing in the window, and he waved. Its official: I love this room!

From: Josh

wanna go for a walk?

From: Reed

sure. i'll meet you in front of ketlar in 5 mins

From: Josh

Okay :)

He put a smiley face! Now I was excited. I jumped up from the window seat and rushed over to my closet. Absentmindedly, I tore off my pajamas and pulled on the jeans that Noelle said I looked good in and a white sweater. Looking in the mirror, I realized Vienna was right about my eyes. I applied some concealer, a little mascara, and some lip gloss, ran a brush through my hair, and sprayed a little perfume in it. I wanted to look, and smell, good for Josh. Then I grabbed my jacket and ran down the stairs and out the door. Josh was sitting on a bench about half way across the quad. As I approached him, he stood, and when I got close enough, he pulled me into a hug.

I was surprised, but also happy that he was hugging me. I'd been waiting so long for him to touch me again. I inhaled the scent of him, it was exactly as I remembered it, and squeezed tighter.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Josh whispered into my hair. He gave me one more squeeze and let go. "Sabine really scared me last night," he said as we began walking down the path.

"I know. When the lights went out, for a split second, I thought I was dead."

"I know, I was scared. I heard the gunshot but I couldn't see who'd been shot. I'm glad your okay."

"You said that."

"Oh. Yeah, I did." Hmm, is that nervousness I detect in his voice? Interesting.

"I was hoping to get to see you at the police station."

"Yeah, I wasn't there for long, maybe 30 minutes."

"Seriously? That's so not fair. Noelle and I were there for a few hours, just sitting in separate interrogation rooms doing nothing."

He laughed. "That's because you're kind of the whole reason everything was happening."

"Yeah."

We walked in silence for a minute.

"I broke up with Ivy this morning."

"I know. She came by to talk to me earlier, while I was packing up my stuff at Pemberly. They let me back into Billings."

"Yeah, I figured that much. But since when do you and Ivy talk?"

I laughed. "We kind of teamed up last night to find out who our stalker was."

"I would have never expected that. You two make an interesting pair."

"I know." It was silent again for a minute.

"So…what did you want to talk to me about last night?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, I was just going to tell you that I really loved your gift. It brought back so many memories. And then I was going to tell you I was thinking about breaking up with Ivy. But then I heard Sabine talking about how she drugged you and I decided that I was definitely breaking up with Ivy."

"So…does that mean…?" I didn't know how to say it.

"That I want us to get back together?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I just don't know if I want that anymore, and I'm confused."

Ouch. Did he mean he didn't want _me_ anymore?

"Sorry, that didn't come out right. I don't mean I don't want you anymore, I just don't know if it's right for me at the moment. Maybe I need a break from relationships for a little bit, you know. I've been really focused on that kind of stuff for a while now."

I didn't understand. "But Ivy told me you still loved me."

He sighed. "She always bugged me about that. She was always talking about how I couldn't pay enough attention to her because I was still in love with you."

"Then I don't understand why you need a break or whatever."

t I couldn't bring m

"It's just that…I just don't know if things will be the same. I can't ever get that picture of you with…him... out of my mind," he said, flinching.

"I would erase it if I could. I hate myself for hurting you like that."

"It wasn't your fault, Reed. It was Sabine."

"Regardless, you don't want to get back together because of the picture in your mind, and I hate myself for doing it because of that."

"Just give me a little time, Reed. I do want to get back together, and I do still love you. I just…need time to think things through."

"How much time?"

"A few weeks."

"That seems like an eternity," I said, turning back towards Billings.

Josh grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards him. He looked right into my eyes as he put his hand on my cheek and pulled me even closer. I stopped breathing as he kissed me. I was paralyzed for a second and lost my balance, but Josh put his hand on my hip to steady me. As soon as I could, I put my hands in his hair and kissed him back. I was confused and knew I shouldn't be kissing him after he'd just said he didn't want me back yet, but it felt so good that I couldn't bring myself to pull away. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me up against his body. After a minute or two of dizzying kisses, he pulled away, a huge smile stretching across his face.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now."

"What happened to 'give me a few weeks'?"

"You were about to walk away and I didn't want you to go."

"Josh you can't contradict yourself like that. It confus…." I was silenced by Josh kissing me again. I immediately pulled away this time.

"Reed, come on. You know you're enjoying it. Can you just forget about the future and have fun?"

He was right. I was enjoying it, a lot. The boy I loved was kissing me again and we'd figure the rest out later. He pulled me in for another kiss as I pondered why I would even reject a kiss from Josh Hollis in the first place. He is an amazing kisser. God, I love this boy.

We stood there kissing for a few minutes, making up for lost time. He finally pulled away to get some air.

"Do you want to…um…come back to Ketlar with me? A lot of the guys are at Kiran's party and dorm our advisor is out for the night."

I smiled at him. "Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. I'm on vacation right now for Thanksgiving, so I'm posting this a little later than I planned. I'll try to get a new chapter up ASAP, just not sure how busy I'll be this week.

**Disclaimer: **I'm not Kate Brian, I don't own Private or any of the characters. This is just me filling the void in my heart until the next private book. :)

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When I woke up the next morning, I was in Josh's arms. I smiled and rolled around to kiss him.

"Good morning," he said, groggily, but smiling at the same time.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," a voice said from across the room. My heart skipped a beat. Who was here?

I quickly sat up and looked across the room. Trey was lying in bed, wide awake. Thank God it was just him.

"Oh. Hi, Trey. How was the party?"

"Eh, same old, same old. But I'm glad to see someone got lucky last night."

"Oh no. We didn't…we're fully clothed," I said, pulling the blanket off of Josh and I. Josh quickly pulled the blanket back over himself and covered his face.

Trey smirked. "Still, it looks like you two got back together. So you did get lucky, just not in _that_ way."

"What time is it?" Josh asked from under the blanket.

"6 AM," Trey replied, smiling. "Rise and shine."

Josh grabbed a pillow and threw it directly at Trey's face. How could he do that without even looking? Not fair.

"What was that for?"

"For being awake at an ungodly hour. I'm going back to sleep, so be quiet."

"Yeah Trey, why are you up? Shouldn't you be sleeping in after the party?"

"I never went to sleep."

"What? Why not? What time did you guys get back anyways?"

"I'm an insomniac sometimes. We got back about an hour ago."

"I said be quiet," Josh said and pulled me down so I was laying again. He wrapped his arms back around me.

"Josh, I should probably be heading back to Billings. People will be waking up soon."

I tried to get up, but Josh wouldn't release his grip on me.

"Josh, stop. Let go."

"Just sleep, Reed. I'll get you back before anyone catches you."

"I'm not tired," I said, but then yawned.

"Yeah…sure, really convincing. Sleep, now," he said smiling. His smile was so cute that I gave up.

"Fine."

We went back to sleep for another hour. I was having a strange dream about Noelle and Trey dating when I was awoken by voices. I was tired and didn't want to open my eyes, so I just laid there and listened.

"Wait, so are you two back together or not?" Trey asked.

"It's complicated, but no." Josh said.

"Then why the heck is she here?" Good question, Trey.

"Because we were hanging out last night and I just wanted to be with her."

"So are you going to get back together?" Another good question.

"Not yet. In a few weeks."

"Then why did she spend the night here? I don't get it."

"Well, I promised Ivy I wouldn't get back together with Reed until after we left for Christmas break. So I told Reed I needed a few weeks to think things through, but then she was going to walk away…and one thing led to another and I invited her here."

"So when are you telling her all this? Cause in my experience, girls really hate being lied to. Plus, lies always end up coming back to bite you in the ass."

"Well, I was going to wait until Ivy was completely out of the equation. But then I was thinking that I should tell Reed today because she deserves to know. But I still haven't decided yet."

"Well, I suggest you just tell her. She survived without you for these past few months, she can last 2 more weeks. But good luck with that. I have to go meet Astrid for breakfast. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, thanks Trey. I'll see you later."

The door opened and closed, and Josh climbed into bed.

"Reed, wake up. Come on, its 8…. Get up, Reed."

I opened my eyes and gasped. Josh's face was about an inch away from mine. I wasn't expecting him to be that close. He gave me a quick kiss and tried to climb out of bed, but I grabbed his face before he could.

"Reed, no time. People are starting to wake up."

"Don't think about the future, Josh. Just have fun. You know you want to kiss me," I said mockingly. I leaned in and kissed him again, but he jumped out of bed without even kissing me back.

"I just don't want you to get caught here. That would not be a very good start for us. Come on sleepy head, get out of bed."

"Fine," I said, getting up and walking towards him.

Josh handed me my jeans and sweater. I had slept in a t-shirt of his last night. He smiled at me for a moment and just stared at me.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Nope." His smile widened.

"Then why are you staring?"

"Its just surreal to have you here, in my dorm room, wearing my shirt. And it's surreal to be able to kiss you again." He knew just what to say to make me smile.

"Do you want to get caught Josh? That would be a bad start for us," I said, mocking him again.

He smiled at my joke. "Someone's a little feisty this morning. Now, hurry up, go change in the bathroom."

I walked into the bathroom and quickly changed. I looked in the mirror and discovered that my mascara had smeared, so I quickly washed my face. My hair was a mess, so I pulled it into a ponytail. 10 minutes later I was presentable.

Josh quickly helped me put my coat on and we walked to the door.

"Alright, I just checked, the coast is clear."

We quietly exited the room and walked down the hallway towards the staircase. About half way down, a door opened and Gage Coolidge stepped out. Josh pulled me to the side of the hallway, but it was too late, Gage had already spotted us.

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

"I don't have time for this Gage," Josh said, sounding very annoyed. I thought he and Gage were friends.

"Well it looks like Easton's golden couple is back together," Gage said cackling. "Just don't go hooking up with Dash again, Reed. Fidelity is very important in a relationship."

"That didn't stop you from hooking up with my ex girlfriend while we were together," Josh said, taking my hand and pulling me away.

"Josh! Gage and Ivy were hooking up while you were together?" I whispered.

"Yeah. He could give her what I wouldn't."

"Then why are you…" I stopped myself before I revealed that I knew about Josh's promise to Ivy. Why would he keep that promise when Ivy hadn't been faithful to him?

"What was that, Reed?"

"Oh, never mind, I forgot what I was going to say. Plus we should be quiet so we don't get caught."

We walked down the stairs and out of Ketlar in silence without anyone else noticing us. Before exiting out onto the quad, Josh told me to meet him at the art cemetery. He would take a short cut so we wouldn't be seen together.

"Why?"

"We need to talk."

"About…?"

"Us."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you when we get there."

"Fine."

I exited out on the quad and walked towards the art cemetery. When I got there, Josh was already there, sitting on the couch.

"Reed, sit down."

"I can't."

"What, why…oh, sorry." This was the couch where he and Cheyenne had hooked up.

He stood up and led me over to the pair of wing back chairs on the other side of the room. We sat down.

"So…what is there to talk about?"

"Well, I stand by what I said last night. I still need a few weeks."

"I just don't see why. You had no problem with being together last night."

"I told you, I just need time to think."

"What is there to think about?" I wasn't letting him get away with lying about his promise to Ivy.

"I just have to make sure this is what I want."

"Josh, you told me you loved me last night. You said you wanted to get back together. You kissed me, multiple times. If you're unsure if you want me back, why did you do all those things?"

He sighed and buried his face in his hands. We sat in silence for a minute.

"Promise me you won't get mad when I tell you this?"

"I promise." Cause I already know what you're going to say.

"I…I made a promise to Ivy that I wouldn't get back together with you until school was out for break."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Well, first of all, I didn't think you'd understand why I would do that. And she also didn't want you to know."

"That's exactly right. I don't understand why, especially after you just said Ivy cheated on you."

"That was at the beginning of our relationship, before she really started to have strong feelings for me, so I let it slide. But then she did start having actual feelings for me. I felt terrible breaking up with her, especially for another girl, because I never meant to hurt her like that. So that's why I promised her to not get back together with you publicly until after break."

"I'm so lucky to have you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're considerate of Ivy's feelings. It proves to me even more that you're a good guy."

He looked up and smiled at me.

"I thought you'd be mad."

"Nope, I understand."

"I'm so lucky to have you," he said, smiling wider.

I smiled back at him. "Yeah, you are."

He laughed. "But don't go getting all cocky now."

"I won't, I promise," I said, getting up and walking over to him and sitting on his lap. He slid his arms around me.

"It feels amazing to hold you again," Josh said, resting his forehead against mine.

"Mhm. Waking up next to you was the best I've felt in a very long time."

We sat like that for a minute, in quiet. It was peaceful. Well, peaceful until I pulled away suddenly.

"What are we going to do for a week?" I sighed.

"Meet in secret?"

"Sounds fun," I said, smiling mischievously. I was still smiling when he kissed me.

We were still kissing when, 10 minutes later, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Someone is happy."

"Oh shut up, Josh. That's obviously my phone," I said, pulling it out of my pocket.

**3 NEW MESSAGES**

From: Noelle

Reed, we just got home, where are you?

4:07 AM

From: Noelle

Reed, text me when you get this. I'm worried.

4:33 AM

From: Noelle

Reed, I just woke up and your still not here. I'm getting really worried. I'm going back to sleep, but text me ASAP

8:53 AM

"So who interrupted our make out session?"

"Noelle. She's freaking out wondering where I am."

I quickly texted her a message telling her I was with Josh.

"Yeah, you should probably be getting back soon."

"Can we stay for just a few more minutes?"

He thought about it for a second, then answered by kissing me.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that morning, after I spent quite a while reacquainting myself with the wonders of Josh Hollis' lips, I returned to Billings and a very curious Noelle.

"What the hell have you been doing with that boy since last night?" she said, grabbing my arm right as I came through the front door. I gave her a crazy look, wondering why she was squeezing my arm. "What? I freaked out thinking you'd disappeared. And now that I know you were with _Josh_ the whole time, you're repaying me with some serious girl talk. My room, pronto."

She dragged me up to her room before I even had the chance to say anything. And as soon as the door was closed, the questions began.

"What were you doing? Did you get back together? Did he kiss you? Oh my god, did you guys do more than kiss?"

I gave her a blank expression, not knowing what to answer first.

"Shit, don't ever let me sound like a clueless freshman ever again. Stop me at two questions at a time," she said, laughing.

"Where do I even begin?"

"The start sounds good to me."

So I told her everything, not holding back anything. I told her about all the kissing and all the heart melting things he'd said. Usually I'd keep that to myself, but Noelle has Dash, so I didn't feel like I was bragging talking about my happy love life. She smiled at all the right parts and made commentary about all the Ivy crap.

"Do you think we should respect Ivy's wishes or not?" I asked, truly valuing her opinion.

"Are you seriously asking me that? You know my opinion already. I say screw Ivy, who cares about her. But you're her little buddy now, so that makes things complicated."

"Yeah. I feel like even if we snuck around she'd find out. All it would take was one person seeing us and starting the rumor mill. And I really don't want to be on Ivy's bad side, ever again."

"It sounds like you already have your mind made up," she said, giving me a weak smile.

"Yeah, I guess I do," I said, making a mental note to talk to Josh about everything. "So, we never did get to talk about Amberly."

"Oh yeah, I know. We have to get rid of her ASAP. She's driving me crazy. I wanted to slap her at the party last night."

"I can imagine. She's been driving me crazy ever since she got into Billings. Did you hear about the Carma Card incident?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot all about that. You and your pride, Reed," she said laughing loudly. "Get's me every time. Like when you broke the CD so you wouldn't have to give it to me! That was priceless."

"Glad you think that's funny, Noelle," I said, not amused.

"Sorry, Reed. Actually, the fact that you have an incredible amount of self-dignity is a good thing. You just make me laugh."

"Can we just get back on topic?" She immediately stopped laughing.

"Sure, sure….So, I was thinking that we could dig up some dirt on her and her family. Then use blackmail to make her leave on her own."

Good thing I had some info on a certain Dustin_ Carmichael_ that could be to our benefit. "Well, Ivy and I did find out that her dad and Cheyenne hooked up."

"What? How?'

"Well we were trying to find out who our stalker was, and Cheyenne was the start of it all. So Ivy did some thing to my computer to retrieve the Billings file off my hard drive. Then when we were looking on Cheyenne's file and under her relationships, Dustin Carmichael was listed."

"Oh God. Cheyenne and Mr. Carmichael? He's young, but not that young. Gross. But good job, Reed, that's a start."

"Yeah. Maybe he has a history of hooking up with underage girls. Good thing we have the Billings CD. That will be a major help."

"Damnit! They haven't sent me the updated version."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have a CD with info on Amberly yet."

"Seriously?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But I'll give the alums a call and see if we can come to New York and pick up the new version."

"Alright, is that all for now? Because I really need a shower."

"Yeah, that's all for now. You can go."

"Okay, bye Noelle. I'll see you later," I said, opening the door.

"Bye, Reed. Congrats on getting back together for Josh. It's nice to see you happy again."

I turned around and flashed her a smile. "Thanks, Noelle. It's nice to be happy again. And just so you know, some of that is due to you letting me back in Billings."

* * *

When I stepped out of the shower, I had an email from Josh.

Reed-

I've been thinking about what we should do until break, and I think it'd be best to just act like nothing happened. It's just too risky to meet in secret, and I really don't

want you or myself on Ivy's bad side. I know this is something better to say to you in person, but I had a feeling that if I tried, I'd just start kissing you and get

distracted, so I just emailed. And so you know, I had an amazing time being with you and so glad that we're back together. Just keep it on the down low for now. I

love you more than you can imagine. :]

-Josh

I quickly wrote a reply.

Josh-

I was just thinking exactly the same thing. And I love you more.

-Reed

I continued to check my email. Random shopping coupons, a note from an alum welcoming back to Billings, junk mail, and stupid chain letters. Delete, delete, delete, delete.

_ Ping__!_ A new message popped up on my screen.

Hey Reed, I talked to Suzel and she said she'd leave a CD with her butler. We just have to go by her house in New York tomorrow and get it. I have to do a make up test for Latin, so I can't go. But I can get you a pass to get off campus right after class. I was thinking you could get Josh can just drive you and get some alone time, or I can just have a car come. The address and directions are attached.

-Noelle

Hmm, Josh or a town car? What kind of question was that? Definitely Josh. I grabbed my iPhone and typed out a message to him.

From: Reed

hey, want to give me a ride into the city after class tomorrow?

From: Josh

uh sure, what are you going to the city for?

From: Reed

just some top secret billings business :]

From: Josh

haha alright... see you then.

I was going through the rest of my emails when I heard a knock on my door. I was surprised when I opened the door to find Shelby. But she was my new next door neighbor, so she's probably just saying hi or something.

"Hey, Reed. Meeting in the parlor in 5 minutes. Noelle has to talk to us about something."

"Oh okay. Thanks, Shelby."

I returned to my desk and shut down my computer, then made my way down to the parlor. Most of the girls were already there, but Portia, Constance, and Astrid saved me a seat on the big couch, so I sat there. We chatted for a minute before Noelle entered, taking a seat on the armchair by the fireplace. We all turned our attention to her.

"Hey ladies, welcome to the meeting. I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Basically, I'd like to open up nominations for a new leadership role in Billings. I need a vice president to help me with Billings matters."

Surprised whispers went through the room and I heard my name a few times. I was surprised myself, what Billings matters could Noelle not handle all by herself? Why did she need a vice president?

"Now I'd like you to think about who you would like to nominate. Make sure you only nominate someone who deserves it. And no nominating yourself."

It was silent for a few minutes as we all thought.

"Alright, any nominations?"

Shelby stood. "I'd like to nominate Portia."

Portia chuckled. "S, WTF? I don't want to be VP."

"Okay, does anyone second the nomination?"

No one said anything, so we moved on.

Astrid stood and cleared her throat. "It would be my pleasure to nominate Reed Brennan. She was a great president before, so she really deserves to me VP."

What? I didn't want to get back into the drama of Billings again. I gave Astrid a 'take it back' look, but she ignored me. Please, please, no one second that.

London jumped up. "Second!" she excitedly said. Dangit.

"Alright, Reed is officially a candidate. Any more nominations?"

It was quiet for a minute. "Okay, Reed Brennan is the first..."

Missy stood, hesitantly. "Um, Noelle. I'd like to nominate Amberly Carmichael?" she whispered, making it sound like a question.

Noelle glanced at me and stifled a laugh. Okay, I knew why she was doing this. It was so we could be partners on all Billings matters. She would probably make it so I won no matter what. But why did she want _my_ help?

"Okay, anyone second the nomination?"

"Second," Kiki said, sheepishly. Constance gave her a 'what are you doing?' look. "What? It wouldn't hurt to actually have an election."

Noelle gave me a 'oh, please' look. She and I both knew that I had this election, whether I wanted to be VP or not. Amberly could never beat me. Especially with Noelle and I plotting to get her to leave Billings.

"Alright, girls, like I said, short and sweet. You're dismissed.

"Hey, Reed, most of us are heading to lunch. Do you want to join us?" Constance asked.

"Sure. Thanks for asking. But I have to talk to Noelle for a second, but I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria."

"See you there."

I waited until the room cleared out to make my way over towards Noelle. She was still sitting in the same chair.

"What was that about?"

"I want you as vice president."

"Why do you all the sudden need a vice president?"

"Well, first of all, I wanted to have something to bond with you over. And I was planning on us dealing with Billings stuff together, like our current _thing_, so why not make you my official VP?"

"I guess I just don't get it. Why me?"

"Reed, are you crazy? You were a good president. You're a viable resource to Billings. You're good at problem solving and you don't give up."

"Are you being serious?"

"Is that all you ever say now?"

"Sorry, its just hard to believe."

"What?"

"That Noelle Lange, the girl who used to call me glass licker, is giving me such nice compliments."

"Its part of being your best friend. Now go join your little friends for lunch."

"Aren't you coming?"

"No. I have to catch up on some school work. I was sick Thursday and I have stuff to make up."

"Oh, alright. See you later, Noelle."

"Sure thing, glass licker," she teased.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys. Well the way I'm feeling about this story is bittersweet. While I can see that 81 people read my story today, only 2 left reviews. Now I don't want to sound like a drama queen or anything, but please review. It gives me confidence as a writer that you guys like the story and I'd like to hear your constructive criticism, if you have any. I'll reward you with an extra long, extra Josh filled chapter if you do review. Now come on, how can you miss that chance? You don't even have to have an account to review...so do it, you know you want to. haha :)

p.s. thanks for those of you who do reivew! I appreciate it big time.

* * *

2:55 PM. 5 minutes until I could be with Josh. I could not wait. In fact, I'd been counting down the hours and minutes since the say began. I just wanted to be able to talk to him and touch him again. And in the car, on the 4 hour round trip to New York and back, I wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out about us.

At 3, classes let out and I immediately received a text.

From: Josh

would you mind having dinner with my parents tonight after your errand? they'd love to see us

From: Reed

sure, sounds good. what would I wear?

From: Josh

It's a fancy restaurant, so something nice

From: Reed

Okay, meet you in the parking lot in 15 minutes?

From: Josh

Sure, see you then

I quickly rushed over to my dorm room and tore through my closet. As I was ripping clothes off the hangers looking for something nice that I hadn't worn to many times before, someone knocked on the door. I jumped and turned around to see Shelby standing in the door way.

"Did I miss the tornado?"

I laughed. "No, but I need to find something nice to wear in 15 minutes for a dinner tonight and I don't own anything that would work."

"Why don't you borrow something of mine? Come look through my closet, just keep it organized." We laughed and walked over to her room.

After sorting through her dressy-but-not-too-dressy dresses, Shelby helped her pick out the most amazing red Theory sheath dress with cap sleeves and a banded waist. It was sexy enough for Josh, but conservative enough for his parents. She also handed me a patent skinny belt, black tights, and the most amazing pair of black pumps with a peep toe Feeling the shinny patent leather of the shoes, I accidentally dropped one of the floor. As I reached to pick it up, I spotted the red sole and gasped.

"Shelby, I can't wear these shoes. They're Louboutins."

"Please, I have a million pairs. Those don't even fit me. You can keep them if you'd like."

My jaw dropped. "Oh my god, thank you."

"Your like a zoo exhibit, Reed, I swear. I offer you a pair of Louboutins and you go crazy," she said as she packed the clothes in a Tory Burch tote bag.

"Well they are, like, $800 dollar shoes."

"And you, my friend, need to get going."

I looked down at my watch. I had 5 minutes.

"Crap, your right. Okay, thank you so much Shelby. I'll bring the dress back to you after I have it dry cleaned. And thank you again."

She chuckled. "Bye, Reed."

I quickly hurried over to the office to grab our passes and then rushed over to the student parking lot. Josh was sitting on a bench waiting. Luckily, the parking lot was empty, so we didn't have to be sneaky. He led me to the back corner of the lot, where a shiny black Porsche Cayenne was sitting.

"What happened to the Range Rover?"

"It just didn't feel right driving it after all the stuff with Thomas. My dad traded it in for this," he said, pulling the keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door.

"Oh. It's nice, I like it," I said, getting in.

We pulled out of the parking lot in silence. Once we were on the highway, Josh spoke.

"What's the address?"

"80 Columbus Circle at 60th Street"

"The Time Warner Center? What's there?" Josh asked curiously as he programmed the address into the GPS.

"There's this CD with information that every Billings president gets. Noelle and I need the updated version with Amberly's info on it. Noelle is busy so I'm going to go get it from one of the alum's house for her."

"Why do you need information on Amberly?"

"Well, we really need info on her dad. Hopefully there will be some on the CD."

"Why do you need info on her dad? Reed, aren't you over all this dramatic Billing's stuff?" he asked, his jaw tightening.

"I know it sounds bad, but Noelle and I have to blackmail Amberly to get her to leave Billings. We're not actually going to do anything, just threaten to release dirt on her family."

"Didn't she just join? Why does Noelle want her out?" He sounded so irritated.

"When Noelle let her in, it was temporary insanity. But we can't just kick her out with no reason, so we have to blackmail her."

"So where does the info on her dad come in?"

"Well Ivy and I found out that her dad and Cheyenne hooked up. And we were hoping that possibly her dad has hooked up with underage girls in the past."

His jaw tightened even more. "Reed, you know I don't like all this stuff."

I slid my hand over to where his was resting on the gear shift. When I touched it, he jerked it away slightly, but I laced my fingers in his anyways.

"Josh, Noelle needs my help with this, and I'm not exactly the biggest fan of Amberly either. She hates me."

"I just don't get why you always find a way to get involved in Billings drama. Why can't you just not get involved, like a lot of the other girls?"

I let go of his hand and crossed my arms across my chest, turning towards the window.

"Billings is my life, Josh. I have to put it first. Plus, I'm going to be the vice president soon."

He cleared his throat. "Why can't you ever put me first, Reed?" His voice was so quiet that it was almost a whisper. I immediately turned towards him.

"Josh." I didn't even know what to say.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"Josh, I just don't understand. What's your big problem with Billings and Noelle?"

"Well, first of all, her involvement in Thomas' death. Second of all, she tried to place the blame on me. I just don't get how you forgave her so easily. I thought you and Thomas were in love."

I was silent for a minute, tying to get my thoughts together. "Josh, I didn't love Thomas. I only thought I did, because I didn't know what it meant to be in love. But then I met you and that changed. And I forgave Noelle because she thought the whole thing was a prank. She didn't know Arianna was a psycho. She didn't know that she went back to kill Thomas. She honestly thought it could have been you. It was your car, after all. Your baseball bat."

"That doesn't make it okay. Just assuming that it was me."

"Well a lot of people thought you killed him. But the only person you have a problem with is Noelle."

He was quiet for a minute and his facial expression was one of defeat.

"I guess your right, Reed. I guess I just don't like Noelle because…I just…I don't really like Billings Reed. She's too different from _my_ Reed."

I was shocked. "Josh. Why did you never tell me this?"

"I guess I was so focused on hating Noelle that I didn't realize it until now."

We were quiet for a few minutes. I sat straight up with my hands clasped together uncomfortably. I could feel my palms start to sweat; nervous about what was going to happen. I truly thought, in that moment, that I was going to loose Josh. Okay Reed, everything is going to be fine. Just breathe. In, out. In, out. But that wasn't working because my eyes starting welling up with tears. But then Josh reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Reed, I don't want to loose you again. But we have to come up with some solution so we don't keep fighting about Billings, just like before."

"I know," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't about to cry. Unfortunately my voice cracked, giving it away. Josh turned and looked at me just in time to see a tear fall down my cheek.

"Reed, don't cry. We'll compromise. Find a way to fix this." He squeezed my hand and turned his gaze back to the road.

"I just don't know how we're going to," I said, wiping off my cheek. "It doesn't seem like either of us are willing to."

Josh pondered that for a few minutes, while I tried to keep myself from crying again. I was trying my hardest but the tears kept welling up in my eyes.

"How about…I'll leave you alone about all the Billings stuff if you only use your powers for good? And you don't turn into one of them. Just stay the same Reed I fell in love with," he said, looked over at me again.

"Sounds good to me." I smiled, causing a tear to fall. Josh let go of my hand long enough to wipe my cheek.

"I love you, Reed Brennan."

I smiled wider. "I love you too, Joshua Hollis," I said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

He smiled widely. "You're going to distract me from the road," he said chuckling. He let go of my hand and instead, placed his hand on my knee. His hand was warm and I had a bubbly, happy, feeling inside. Maybe Josh and I would finally stop fighting about Billings. I smiled and placed my hand over his.

"You have the most ridiculously goofy grin on your face," he said, glancing over at me.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I'm just happy to be with you again."

"I am too," he said, squeezing my knee.

* * *

"Reed, wake up," I heard Josh say. I rubbed my eyes, opened them slowly, and stretched in my seat.

"How long was I asleep?"

"For about an hour. In a few minutes, if you look out your window, you'll see the best view of New York City. I thought I'd wake you up and show you it."

I saw from a road sign that we were exiting onto the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Josh, isn't the Brooklyn Bridge a little out of our way?"

"Yeah, I took a different route so you could see it. I know you haven't been to New York many times, and I wanted you to see it."

"Aww, Josh. Thank you."

"I know, I know. I'm just such a great boyfriend."

"Yeah, you really are," I said, taking his hand off the steering wheel so I could hold it.

"Okay, close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you to."

"Alright."

Five minutes later, the car came to a stop.

"Damnit," I heard Josh curse under his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"Traffic. We're at a dead stop."

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"Yeah, I guess this is good enough."

I opened my eyes to a view of the sun setting over New York City. I could see all the skyscrapers. My mouth gaped open in awe.

"Josh, this is perfect."

"Yeah, I got the timing just right," he said smiling at me, please by my reaction.

He leaned over the center console and placed a hand on my cheek, pulling me towards him. I stopped breathing. Just when I thought he was about to kiss me, he pulled his face a few inches away.

"I love you. I'm glad you like the view."

"I love you too. Thank you. I've never seen the skyline at sun…"

Before I could finish my sentence, he leaned in and kissed me. It was perfect. No, it was more than perfect.

* * *

We pulled up at the Time Warner Center at exactly 5:45. Josh quickly found an open parking space right on the circle. We stepped out of the car and Josh fed a few bills into the parking meter. Five minutes later, we were inside the south tower, where part of the building was occupied by residences. Josh grabbed my hand and led me over to the elevator.

"What floor, miss?" the attendant asked.

"76," I replied, even though I wasn't a sir.

"Ah, the Llewellyn residence. May I ask what business you have there?"

"I'm Reed Brennan, the butler is expecting me."

"Oh, of course, Miss Brennan. Sorry for the trouble."

It never ceased to amaze me the kind of power Billings alums had. Suzel must have the whole world wrapped about her finger. Even the elevator attendant knew my name.

Quickly, the elevator pushed us up into the sky. When it finally came to stop, I yawned to pop my ears. The doors swung open and we stepped out into Suzel's apartment. The foyer was large, with black and white diamond checkered tiles. A large circular cherry wood table sat in the middle of the room with a large vase of pink daffodils and a stack of mail on top of it. A few moments after we entered, a maid appeared.

"Hi, I'm Reed Brennan."

"Oh, hello Miss Brennan. I have your package in the parlor." she said in a heavily Hispanic accented voice. "Follow me."

Josh and I followed her into a large room with thick white carpeting and light blue walls, complete with crown molding. Josh stood next to a large sky blue chaise lounge while I followed the maid over to a secretary desk. She handed me a small white box, just large enough for a CD to fit in.

"Can I get you anything, Miss Brennan? Tea? Coffee? A pastry?"

"No thank you, we actually have to be heading out. But thank you for your help. Please tell Suzel that I said thank you also."

"Of course, Miss Brennan. Let me show you out."

We followed her to the elevator and rode down in silence. Josh took my hand when the elevator doors opened and led me to the car.

"We don't have to be at the restaurant until 7. It's only 6 now. Do you want to see my house?"

"Of course."

We pulled out onto Central Park South and made our way over to the Upper East side, where the Hollis family house was located. Josh pulled up to a large 5 story red brick townhouse with lots of windows and parked in front of it.

"Home sweet home," he said, opening his door.

I watched him as he walked over to my side of the car and opened my door for me. He picked up the Tory Burch bag with my clothes in it and helped me out of the car. I followed him inside the large wooden door, and he shut it behind me. I was expecting to keep on walking, but all the sudden, Josh turned around and pushed me up against the door, pulling me into a deep kiss.

I pulled away, gasping for air a few moments later. "What was that for?"

"I dunno. Just felt like it. I can kiss my girlfriend when I want to, right?"

"Yes you can. But I don't want your mom to walk out and see us or something."

"Right. Let's go find her," Josh said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the living room, where several big couches were sitting, just waiting for me to jump on.

"MOM! Are you here?" Josh called through out the downstairs level.

"All the lights are out, maybe she isn't here."

"Yeah, I don't think she is. When she's home, there's usually music on. The house is never this silent."

"Well good, we get some privacy."

"That was exactly what I was thinking," he said, smiling widely. "Come on, let me show you my room."

Josh pulled me towards the kitchen, where he grabbed 2 sodas from the fridge, before leading me to the back staircase. I followed him all the way up to the fifth floor, observing the family pictures lining the staircase all the way up. I saw family portraits, individual portraits of Josh and his siblings, and baby pictures. I especially liked one of Josh at about 3 years old with a puppy, his curly hair white blonde.

"Isn't it annoying to have to come all the way up all these flights of stairs?"

"Not really. Lynn and I get the top floor, the farthest away from my parents. Tori and Tess get the fourth floor, my parents have the third, and the first two are family space."

I laughed at the thought of Josh and Lynn having their own floor. "Back in Croton, our whole house is just one floor. That is so not fair. What's up here besides your bedrooms, anyways?"

"A game room, Lynn's study room, and my studio."

"Your studio, that sounds interesting."

"That why I'm taking you there first," he said smiling.

We walked down a long hallway to the very last floor on the left. It was a room about the size of my bedroom, with a lot of windows and shelves. When Josh turned on the light, I could see that there were probably about 5 easels set up and 5 more folded up against the wall. The shelves held drying wracks, a million pots of paint, tons of brushes, cans full of pencils, and various other art supplies. Josh set down the sodas and quickly led me over to an easel by a window, turning it around and showing me the picture hanging on it. I gasped and my mouth dropped open. It was a portrait of me, in my gown, at the fundraiser earlier this year. I was speechless.

"I guess this pretty much proves that I never got over you. I painted it during Thanksgiving break from memory. You looked so beautiful that night. Well…until, you know-" He didn't finish his sentence. Neither of us wanted to think about what was on that video.

"Josh, this is…amazing. I don't even know what to say."

"How about 'I love you'?"

I giggled. Yes, I definitely had Josh back. He was the only boy who could make me _giggle_. "I love you," I said pressing myself against him and kissed him. He kissed me back for a few moments before resting his head on my forehead.

"I love you too. Now let me show you my room," he said, pulling me down the hall, sodas forgotten.

"So here's where the magic happens," he said opening the door to his room and laughing. "Or where the magic will happen, as soon as we get the chance."

I blushed. We had never gotten around to that, but I was definitely looking forward to the chance.

"Oh look, I made you blush," he said, pulling me into the room. I didn't even have the chance to look around before he pulled me in for a kiss. I eagerly kissed him back, pressing my body up against his as much as I could. I heard him sigh as he pushed me down on the bed, where we continued our make out session. My jacket was off and his hands were under my sweater, feeling very cold against my hot skin. It was a good feeling, though. Soon, my sweater was off and Josh was fumbling with my bra clasp. Was, that is, until we heard heels clicking up the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Eh four reviews, I'd like more but it's okay. As I said, extra Josh filled chapter. Then I'll be getting more into the Easton drama cause Josh has been the focus lately.**

**Discliamer: I do not own Private, that would be the wonderful Kate Brian.  
**

* * *

"Josh, are you home?" I heard Mrs. Hollis ask from down the hall. Josh quickly stood up, threw me my sweater that had somehow landed across the room, and sat at his desk. I pulled my sweater over my head just before Mrs. Hollis stepped in the room.

"Hey mom," Josh said sheepishly, before standing up to hug his mother.

"Josh, honey, it's so good to see you again. It's only been a few weeks since Thanksgiving but I've missed you."

Josh pulled himself out of the hug and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bed.

"Hi Mrs. Hollis. It's nice to see you again."

"Reed! You look even more beautiful than I remember."

I blushed. Suddenly, I heard more footsteps coming up the stairs. Actually, it sounded more like elephants than footsteps.

"Josh! Mom said you were home!" I heard the twins shout before I saw them. They entered the room at the same time. Woah, they look exactly alike. Which one is which?

"Oh, hi Reed," the one with shoulder length hair said. "I'm Tori."

"And I'm Tess. It's nice to meet you. Josh talks about you non stop," said the one with long, almost waist length, hair.

"Yeah, your even prettier than I imagined," Tori added.

"Tess, Tori," Josh said, embarrassed.

"What? Don't be embarrassed, Joshy."

"Yeah, Joshy. Your cute when you blush," I laughed.

"You are not allowed to call me that. Tori getting everyone in the family to call me that over Thanksgiving was enough."

"But, Joshy, I really like the nickname," I said, smiling at him. Tess and Tori giggled. Obviously they got on Josh's nerves sometimes, but they were cute and seemed nice.

"Alright girls, lets leave Josh and Reed alone. Go do your homework," Mrs. Hollis said. The twins left. "Josh, your father is going to meet us at the restaurant. You should probably be getting ready now. Its 6:40," she said as she left.

"There's a bathroom, right there," Josh said, pointing at a door next to the open closet. "You can change there."

"Alright, thanks," I said. I picked up my Chloe bag and the tote bag and made my way to the bathroom, giving Josh a peck on the lips on the way.

Once inside the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was messy from the impromptu make out session. Mrs. Hollis and the girls must have realized that they caught us in the act. I pulled my makeup bag out of my purse and quickly brushed my hair. Then I applied a little taupe eye shadow, some brown eyeliner, a little mascara, and red lip gloss. Then I pulled on the dress and fastened the belt. It fit perfectly and the dress was surprisingly comfortable. I stepped into the shoes and stepped out into Josh's room. I gasped as I saw Josh standing by the closet in just a pair of black dress pants. His muscles flexed as he turned though hangers in his closet. He paused and turned his gaze towards me.

"You look…very sexy. I like that color on you," he said, pulling a red dress shirt off a hanger without taking his eyes off of me. He pulled on the shirt and buttoned it, still not taking his eyes off of me. He then pulled out a gray V neck sweater and pulled it on. The whole time he didn't turn his gaze away from me.

"How come I've never seen that dress before?" he asked as I walked over to him.

"It's Shelby's, she let me borrow it."

"You should steal it. Or I'll just buy it for you. It looks amazing on you," he said as he slid his arms around my waist.

"Well I don't think committing a crime would be a very good idea. But if you want to buy it…" I said as he leaned in to kiss me. We stood like that for a minute before Josh pulled away to put on his shoes. When he was done with that, we put on our coats and went downstairs to the living room. Josh pulled me down on one of the couches, that was just as comfortable as it looked by the way, and we sat there holding hands until Mrs. Hollis was ready.

"You two are so cute!" Mrs. Hollis exclaimed coming into the room. "Matching and all."

I looked over at Josh and realized that we did, in fact, match.

"Yeah, Mom. Thanks."

"It's just nice to see you happy again, Josh. I'm glad you and Reed are back together."

"Mom, I thought I told you to not talk about that."

"Josh, its fine," I said squeezing his hand. "Thank you, Mrs. Hollis. I'm sorry to have ever hurt your son. It was definitely not intentional, and I'm sure you've heard about what Sabine did by now."

"Well I heard about her death and the details," she said. I was grateful for the way in which she managed to let me know she knew about Sabine trying to kill me without actually saying it. "But what does that have to do with you and Josh breaking up?"

"Mom, Sabine drugged Reed, that's why she and Dash um…" _What?_ He told his family about that?

"Oh I see. It all makes sense now."

"Yeah, mom. Your telling me," Josh said standing up. "Let's go, Dad will be waiting."

* * *

After dinner, we returned to Josh's house to get the car. It was late and we needed to be heading back to Easton. I was climbing into the car when my iPhone buzzed. I had a text message.

From: Noelle

well, reed, its your lucky day. its snowing pretty hard here and they say a blizzard is coming. I talked to the Crom and he thinks its too dangerous to drive. So you get to spend the night with josh in new york J

Josh was just about to pull out into the street. "Josh, wait."

"What?"

"We have to stay here tonight. Noelle texted and it's about to be blizzard conditions up at Easton. It's not safe to drive. She talked to the Crom and told me we should just stay here for the night."

"Really? Well we got lucky," he said turning off the car. "I guess we'll just get to spend another night together. Excellent."

We went back into the house, where Mr. and Mrs. Hollis were sitting in front of the fireplace in the living room.

"Josh, I thought you were heading back to Easton," Mr. Hollis said curiously.

"Actually, Dad, Reed talked to Noelle and its snowing pretty heavily at Easton. It's not safe to drive back."

"Oh wow," Mrs. Hollis said, "you'll just stay here tonight and drive back when the roads are clear tomorrow. Now would you like to join us for coffee before we go to sleep?"

"Actually, Mom-" Josh started to say.

"We would love to," finished, before Josh could turn them down.

Mrs. Hollis served us some coffee. We talked for a while until Josh's parents retired to their room to get some sleep.

"So…Back to my room?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, sure. I need to shower."

"Oh, well I was thinking of something else…but showering is fine," Josh said as we headed up the stairs.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, maybe finishing what my mom interrupted earlier."

"Josh. Not while your parents are home."

"Please, they sleep like rocks," Josh said opening the door to his room. I followed him inside, closing the door behind me.

"I really need to shower, though."

"Well we could just…shower together?" Josh said, making it sound like a question. He smiled at me sweetly.

"Yeah, and then I'd never get around to washing my hair."

"Reed…you know you want to," he said, pulling me towards the bed.

"Calm down, boy. Don't make me start calling you Joshy. That would completely ruin the mood," I joked.

"Fine, fine, Reed. Go shower. Have it your way," he said smiling. "I'll just have to wait until you get out. I'll go downstairs and get you some soap from the twins' bathroom so you don't smell like a guy."

I took a quick shower, and then Josh did. I didn't want to put my jeans and sweater back on, so I searched through Josh's dresser until I found an old pair of shrunken boxers to put on with my tank top. I turned on the TV and settled into his bed. A few minutes later, the shower turned off and Josh stepped out into the room, clad in only a towel. I stopped breathing. His curls were all messy and wet and his body was still damp. Needless to say, he looked extremely attractive in that moment, as he walked over to the bed and sat down next to me.

"You are so unbelievably gorgeous, Reed. I hope you know that," he said laying down, his face inches from mine.

"You can't be serious. I probably look gross."

"Nope, not possible. Plus your laying in my bed, in my clothes, and we're free to do whatever we want. You've never been more attractive in your life."

"Sure, sure," I said smiling. He was so cute sometimes it made me melt. "How was your shower?"

"It was good. Would have been better if you would've joined me." He smiled.

"Really now?" I smiled back at him.

"Yes, really," he said, leaning closer. His face was now maybe an inch from mine, tops. I was expecting him to kiss me, but he didn't. "So…what are we going to do now?" His breath was hot on my face.

"I don't know, anything in mind?" I asked, moving closer. His lips were probably about a centimeter away from mine now.

"Not rea-" He never got to finish his thought because I kissed him. My hands were instantly tangled in his curls and he pulled me on top of him, eagerly kissing me back. My whole body was on fire and every time he touched me, a small shock ran through wherever it was. I was slowly getting undressed when Josh suddenly pulled away.

"Shouldn't we, like, talk or something before we do this?"

I rolled off of him and back onto the bed sighing.

"I suppose. I mean if we can't talk about it then we're not ready to do it."

"Have you done this before?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. With Thomas," I said very quietly. Josh looked away from me.

"What's wrong?" I said, even quieter.

Unexpectedly, Josh laced his fingers in mine.

"I don't know. I'm kinda disappointed is all. I wish I'd gotten to you first," he said smiling.

I sighed and squeezed his hand. "I know. I wish I'd waited also. For someone that I was truly in love with. AKA you."

"It's fine though. Now I get the chance to be better than him," he joked.

I laughed. "So, have you ever done this before?" I said, repeating the question he'd asked a minute ago.

"Honestly, I haven't. I've never even considered it, until I met you."

"Really?" I said, surprised. Josh Hollis. Cute, sweet, _hot_ Josh Hollis, a virgin. That was unexpected. Especially because I'd heard Ivy talking on the phone about wanting to have sex with him.

"Yeah. What'd you think?"

"Well…" I trailed off, not sure if I should tell him about the Ivy thing. "When I lived in Pemberly, next to Ivy, there was a vent in my floor and I could hear everything in her room. Including her on the phone talking about how she couldn't wait to get you in bed."

Josh let go of my hand and sat up, pulling his towel tighter around him. "Are you serious?"

I bit my lip. "Yes. And actually, hearing that wasn't so bad. I sort of expected that from her. The worst was hearing you two together."

"Reed. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We weren't together; you had the freedom to do what you wanted."

"No, I mean I'm sorry that I can't do this anymore. Knowing that… ruins the mood," he said standing up and walking towards his dresser.

I sat up in bed and pulled my tank top, which had bunched up around my neck, down to cover my body. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"No, I'm glad you did," he said as he pulled on a pair of shorts.

"What? Why?"

"It makes me realize how crazy I must have been to have ever been with her."

"Oh. Well I'm sorry about that, too. I mean, for ever giving you the chance to be with her."

"Reed, I told you, it's not your fault. Sabine drugged you."

"I know, but I still feel like I should have stopped myself."

"Don't. Just try to forget about it," he said getting back in bed.

"Yeah, like that's possible."

But then he leaned in to kiss me and my mind went blank. So maybe it was possible to forget about it.

* * *

**What'd you think? You know your just dying to review! haha...**

**and yeah, Josh and Reed getting horizontal will have to wait, just bear with me for now.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own private.**

* * *

I woke up in Josh's arms and my head on his chest. His bare, muscular chest, which I ran my hand up and down.

He smiled before he opened his eyes. "Good morning," he said, pulling me closer. "I've been waiting for you to wake up."

"Morning," I said after he kissed me.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good. After all, I had you as a pillow. You?"

"Pretty good, as well. Extra body heat helps when there's a blizzard outside."

"It hit New York too?' I asked groaning. Then I turned towards the window. It was covered in a thin layer of slushy ice. Great, just great.

"Yep. And Gage texted me. He says classes are cancelled for today, so we're not missing anything."

"Gage? I thought you guys weren't on the friendliest of terms."

"Yeah, he's annoying most of the time. But guys don't make a big deal out of girl drama. Plus, it didn't really hurt that much when I found out about him and Ivy. After all, I was still in love with you."

"So our secret is safe with him?" I asked, remembering the morning after we got together.

"What? Oh yeah. He'd never tell Ivy."

"That's good," I said yawning.

"Are you still tired?"

"A little bit. I haven't exactly been sleeping well lately."

"Yeah, the bed's in Pemberly suck."

I laughed. "Well that too. But I also had a stalker to find and a boyfriend to win back. It wasn't exactly easy to sleep at night."

"I see. Well, your stalker is gone and you have the boyfriend back. Catch up on sleep. I'm gonna go make you breakfast in bed."

I smiled and kissed him again. Was Josh perfect or what?

* * *

Later that afternoon, we returned to Easton. After kissing Josh goodbye, I walked alone back to Billings. The parlor was empty when I came in. I assumed that everyone was out playing in the snow or in their rooms trying to keep warm. I unlocked the door to my room and collapsed on my bed tired. Josh and I had spent most of the day sledding in Central Park, like little kids. It was fun, but I was tired.

* * *

When I woke up an hour later, I turned on the light for the first time since getting home. That's when I saw a bouquet with 4 roses on my desk. This time they were hot pink. My heart started beating faster as I walked to the desk, grabbing the card and ripping it open.

_Reed-_

_You are so beautiful. Just like these roses._

_-Secret Admirer_

Seriously? This again? And how did they get this in my room? I picked up the bouquet and dropped it in the trash. This needed to stop. I had Josh now. I'd ask the girls if they knew who put the flowers in my room. That's what I'd do.

* * *

"Hannah Douglass. Alexandra Douglass. Isabella Faniti. Jade Parker. Adorina Pham. Recognize any of these names?" I said.

"Oh my god. I was in 10th grade cotillion with these girls!" Noelle said excitedly. "I knew they were sluts! Wait till I tell people about this."

It was after dinner that night. Noelle and I were looking on the Easton CD for the dirt on Amberly's dad.

"Noelle, I thought this was just to use against Amberly. Not gossip points."

"Oh, Reed, your no fun," Noelle said. Then she gasped. "Tierney McCulloch," she said quietly.

I looked at the screen to see the same name that Noelle had just said. "What about her?"

"We were best friends from pre-K to middle school. I knew she got into some weird stuff in high school, but sleeping with our parents' friend? That's crazy."

"Wow," I said, not sure of what else to say.

"Well I'm glad the CD worked out. Now all we have to do is make a list and talk to Amberly."

"Yeah. It was easier than I thought it was going to be."

"So…I've been dying to ask. How was your night with Josh?"

"It was good," I started. Then I told her the whole story, leaving out the Josh was a virgin part.

"I can't believe you two haven't done it yet! Seriously? If I was with him I'd have sealed the deal a longggg time ago," she said, exaggerating the word long.

"Yeah. I guess we just haven't gotten the chance yet. I was thinking New Years would be perfect, though."

"Yeah. Cheesy cute but good."

"MOVIE TIME!!" someone yelled out in the hallway. I think it was London. Or Vienna. Their voices were impossible to tell apart.

"Oh yeah, it's movie night. Care to join me and the rest of the girls in the parlor?"

"Sure," I said, remember that I needed to ask the girls about the flowers.

XXXXX

10 minutes later, in the parlor, all the girls were seated.

"Hey girls, before we start the movie, I uh, have a question."

Constance perked up in her seat. "Yeah…"she said.

"Well someone left flowers in my room. Did anyone see who delivered them?"

Lorna sat up in her seat. Missy noticed and tried to get her to sit back down. She "Yeah, some guy delivered them," she said, brushing Missy off. "From the flower shop in town. We put them in your room," she said, gesturing to Missy. "Why?"

Dang. "Well, I sort of have this secret admirer," I said slowly, the girls giggling. "And I'm trying to figure out who it is because its getting annoying."

"Reed, it happened again?" Noelle asked, smiling. "At least whoever it is should get some creativity. Flowers twice?"

"Seriously," Vienna said. "Why not some chocolate or champagne? Then you could share it with all of us!"

"Can we just start the movie," Missy said sounding very annoyed.

"Sure, why don't you go press play. I lost the remote," Noelle said, ice queen voice in full effect.

"Noelle, its right there beside you," Missy said, nose in the air even higher than before.

"I said press play. Now do it," Noelle replied, looking angry. "Don't question me."

Missy jumped out of her chair and rushed over to the DVD Player. "Sorry Noelle. So sorry," she pleaded while the rest of us stifled laughter.

The movie started, with me growing sleepier every second. Before the plot could even get going, I was napping peacefully in my seat.

* * *

**Alright, boring filler chapter. Review por favor.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, I know you want Reed and Josh so there's a little in this chapter. But really, I can't have Josh in every chapter, so don't get mad if he isn't! :) Especially cause some upcoming chapters will be mainly Billings stuff. But I'll include him as much as possible. Read and Review. thanks guys!  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN PRIVATE**

* * *

"Seriously," Noelle said in a very annoyed voice. "I don't have time for late freshman. Amberly better get here soon."

It was the next afternoon. Noelle and I were in the parlor for a meeting with Amberly. The door slowly opened and Amberly entered.

"Hey Noelle, sorry I'm late. Stupid Mr. Garcia had to talk to me after class. Oh, hi Reed. Didn't see you there."

"Amberly, please sit. We need to talk to you."

"Um, okay. Can I ask what this is about?"

"Do the names Cheyenne Martin, Hannah and Alexandra Douglass, Isabella Faniti, Jade Parker, and Adorina Pham mean anything to you?"

"Um, yeah. Cheyenne was in Billings. And the others are all girls we know in New York, Noelle." He voice had a slight tone of "duh" to it.

"Want to know what else they have in common?"

"What?" Amberly said curiously.

"Well, it seems that all of these girls have slept with your father. While they were underage," I said, taking Noelle's lead.

Amberly looked away. "So you found out about that?" she said quietly.

"Yes we did. And we're prepared to deal with it." I said calmly.

"And what the hell are your going to do about it, Ms. Reed Brennan from Croton, Pennsylvania?"

"Actually, Reed isn't going to do anything. I am," Noelle answered in a biting voice.

"Okay, Noelle. What are you going to do?"

"Well this is really surprising. I thought that your father was a good person, but it turns out he's just a slime ball. It's disgusting. And unless you want anyone to find out about this, you have to leave Billings."

"What?" Amberly, burying her hands in her face.

"Yes. It's a disgraceful thing and we can't allow you to be in Billings anymore," I said.

"You shouldn't have in the first place, but that's a whole other story," Noelle said sighing.

'You can't just do this to me!" Amberly screeched, looking up at us.

"I can and I will," Noelle said in an icy voice. Her eyes narrowed at Amberly.

"But the whole thing with my dad, it's just an excuse, right? You just don't want me in Billings anymore and this is your way or getting rid of me. I'm smarter than I look."

"Does it really matter?" Noelle answered.

"Yeah, it does. I'm not leaving Billings. So blackmail me all you want, release that info to the New York Times for all I care. I'll never leave Billings willingly."

"Really Amberly? What about you little brother and sister? They're only 12. This would ruin their lives. I thought you wanted to protect them. Think about what it would do to your mother. She'd be devastated that your dad cheated on her. She'd turn back to alcohol to escape her problems. And your dad's whole 'family' marketing scheme, forget that. His business would go bad and you'd have to say goodbye to your charmed life."

Wow, I didn't know there was so much dirt about Amberly's family. I guess I'd always believed the 'Coffee Carma, where you're a member of our family' commercial.

Amberly stood up. "I'll think about it. But I'm done here."

"By the end of the week Amberly, or we will go public with this. Three days," Noelle threatened.

"Fine, Noelle," Amberly said walking out the door and slamming it behind her.

"Well you really know how to tug on someone's heartstrings, Noelle," I said.

"You of all people should know," she said laughing.

"So, do you think this is going to work?"

Noelle thought about it for a moment. "Probably," she said reaching over to give me a high five. "Good work, Brennan."

* * *

Later that night, after dinner, I met Josh in the art cemetery.

"How was your day?" he asked after giving me a long kiss. "I missed you. Not being able to be public with this is really annoying."

"I know, but it's only a week and a half until break. Then we can be as public as we want."

He smiled at me. "You never answered how your day was."

"Long and boring mostly. Then Noelle and I had to meet with Amberly and try to blackmail her."

He looked away from me.

"I know you don't like it Josh, neither do I. Especially when it didn't work and Noelle had to remind Amberly of all her family problems and how it would make it worse."

"That sucks."

"I know. I felt bad for her. I just don't know what to do. I want her to leave and I don't know of any other way to make it happen."

"Maybe you can just let Noelle handle it from now on?"

"I don't know, maybe," I said. "If only had an excuse to give Noelle on why I couldn't do it. Like I'm too busy being with my boyfriend."

Josh chuckled. "Soon, Reed. We can be as busy with each other as you'd like," he said leaning in to kiss me. And that's all we did, for 30 minutes until Josh pulled away, looking at his watch.

"Why are you pulling away?" I asked, trying to kiss him again.

"Reed, it's almost curfew. I don't want you to get cau-" but he never finished his sentence because I kissed him. Five minutes later he pulled away and went to the other side of the room. "I'm seriously this time, Reed. I don't want you to get caught."

"Fine, Josh," I said straightening out my shirt.

"Reed, are you mad? You sound mad," he said worriedly.

"Just a little. I mean, you're supposed to want to ravish me or whatever. Not stop because of curfew."

"Do you know how ridiculous that is Reed? Of course I want to. Just like I wanted to the other night. But in the art cemetery? At school? Not happening."

"What, do you have some romantic night planned or something," I said sarcastically.

Josh looked down sadly. "Actually, yes. I do," he said quietly.

Then I realized I was being stupid. My boyfriend had some romantic night planned for us to do it for the first time and I was complaining because we couldn't do it now. At school. Then it'd be just like with Thomas, and I didn't want that. I didn't want sneaking around and having to stop when we heard someone coming. I wanted a romantic night, like in a movie or something. I wanted it to be perfect. I'd just wait until the next time we were together outside of school. Then I'd seduce him, even if it wasn't his planned night. I knew he couldn't turn that down. I walked over to Josh and took his hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. I guess I just want you really badly."

"And I want you too. More than anything. I just didn't think you'd be into the whole risky at school thing."

"I'm not, actually. I just realized that."

"Well good. Cause I'm not into that either. We'll do it soon. I promise."

"When?" I asked curiously.

"It's a surprise," he said smiling.

"Josh."

"What? I'm not telling you."

I gave him a deep, passionate, kiss. "What about now?"

"Nope. You'll have to wait."

"Josh, really?"

"Yes really. Now it's time for you to go. Just be fast getting back to Billings, curfew was 2 minutes ago."

"Fine. But it better be soon. I can't wait much longer," I said laughing.

"Oh trust me, it will be soon."

He kissed me quickly. "I love you, goodnight."

"I love you too, Josh. I'll see you whenever I get to next."

* * *

The next two days were quiet. No Josh, no Amberly. Just me, studying for finals next week. By Friday, I felt very prepared. I didn't have a chance at making firsts this semester due to slacking off after loosing Josh, but I'd pass my finals at least. Noelle had scheduled another meeting with Amberly that afternoon in the parlor to find out her final decision. I hoped she would just leave Billings. After hearing what it would do to her family if the news got out about her dad, I really didn't want Noelle to have to go to the New York Times as planned. Noelle and I sat in the same chairs as before and Amberly was on time this time around.

"I've made my decision. I'm staying in Billings. Release the dirt on my dad for all I care. I'm not leaving," she said without even sitting down.

"Are you sure you want to do that? I can make your life here at Billings hell. Just ask Reed, here."

"I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to stay in Billings."

Noelle let out and icy laugh. "I'm going to have a lot of fun with this," she said. "You can leave now, Amberly."

Amberly left.

"Alright, weekend trip to New York. We can go to the New York Times, then I'll take you shopping, and we can go to the spa. You need some shopping and relaxing."

"Do we really have to do this, Noelle?"

"Reed, you hate Amberly. Are you seriously doing this now?'

"Yeah. I don't want all that bad stuff to happen to her family like you said."

"Reed, she's aware of what will happen. But she chose to stay here anyways. It's her fault now, she had the power to stop us."

Noelle was right. I didn't even like Amberly anyways. Why was I standing up for her? "Okay."

"Good, I'll call a car. We're leaving for the city ASAP," she said excitingly. I can't wait to get you to Saks."


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: Kate Brian owns Private, not me!**

"Noelle, this is amazing," I said as a small Asian lady massaged my back. She was getting out all the knots in my back and I was in heaven.

"Geez, Reed, you act like you've never done this before." I was quiet. "Oh wait, you haven't. Well I'm glad your first massage is courtesy of me. And your whole spa experience if I remember correctly."

"Yes," I said, wincing as Aiko, my masseuse rubbed out a knot.

"Time for hot rock," she said in a thick accent.

"Alright," I said anticipating the relaxation that was about to come.

"So do you want waxing or facial's next?"

We'd already gotten mani-pedis.

"Noelle, waxing? Of what?" I asked curiously.

"Well I get a my legs, underarms, and bikini. But you can get whatever you want."

"Um, bikini?"

"Yeah. Dash likes Brazilian."

Brazilian. Meaning…

"God Noelle, too much info."

She laughed and closed her eyes. "Ah, this is amazing. I've been overdue for a massage."

In fact, it was so relaxing that I'd forgotten about the whole Amberly thing. During the car ride to New York, my conscience had been urgently telling me that this was wrong and I shouldn't be doing this. I'd never thought that Amberly would actually stay at Billings, so I'd gone along with Noelle's plan. But now that she was and I knew what kind of damage could be done to her family, it was a whole different story. Would her mom really turn back to alcoholism? I didn't want that to happen to Amberly because I knew how it felt to have a mother who was too gone to care about you. Why couldn't I just be like Noelle, hurt people for my own gain and not even care? And I still hadn't told Josh the real reason I was in New York. I knew he wouldn't approve of releasing the information to the press. He thought I was here for the spa and shopping with Noelle. He'd be so disappointed to find out that I was here to ruin Amberly's life. Why did he have to be such a good person?

* * *

Two hours later, Noelle and I emerged from the spa waxed, massaged, and painted. Painted nails, that is.

"Alright, how about we go up to the suite and order some room service?" Noelle questioned.

"Wait we're staying here? At the St. Regis?" I thought we were just at the spa. This was a nice hotel after all. 5 stars. Legendary.

"Well, duh. That's why we were at the spa. Now come on silly, let me show you the suite."

We stepped into the elevator and up we went. When the doors opened, I followed Noelle out into a long hallway of doors. At the very end, Noelle pulled out a room key and opened the door.

"Welcome to the Presidential Suite," she said smiling. "It's good to be home."

"Home?" I asked curiously. Noelle lived in a townhouse on the Upper East Side.

"I've stayed in this suite quite a lot. It feels like home. Now go pick your bedroom."

I walked down a small, marble floored, hallway to the bedroom at the end. I collapsed into the fluffy down covered bed. Opening my eyes, I saw Noelle follow me in shortly after, carrying her bag.

"Oh. This is my room."

"Really. Why?"

"Because well. Dash and I did it for this first time in this room."

I jumped of the bed as quickly as I can. Noelle starting laughing.

"You act like they haven't changed the sheets since then. It's probably not even the same mattress, Reed."

"Whatever. I'm going to go find another room."

I walked back up the hallway to a small bedroom with a queen sized bed. It wasn't as nice as Noelle's. Plus, it had no view. Noelle said there were three rooms, so I kept walking. Back through the foyer, through the living, past the kitchen and there was another hallway. A walnut paneled library was on the left and a room exactly like Noelle's was on the right. Bingo. My bag was already sitting on the bed. I pulled open the light blue curtains and looked down at some buildings and central park in the distance. Wow, was it beautiful.

Stepping away from the window, I made my way towards the bathroom. A huge claw foot tub sitting on white marble tile dominated the room. That was exactly what I needed to complete my spa experience. I long, hot, bath. The better to get my mind of Amberly with. I started running the water and dumped in a package of bath salt that was sitting by the little shampoo bottles. I changed out of my clothes and into the fuzzy white complimentary robe and waited for the tub to fill. And then my phone rang from my jeans pocket.

"Hello," I said answering.

"Hey, Reed." Josh.

"Perfect timing. I was just about to get in the bath."

"Aw, too bad I can't join you. How is New York?" he asked.

"It's good. No snowstorms this time. Noelle took me to the spa. It was amazing. And we're staying at the Presidential Suite at the St. Regis. One night in this hotel is probably 2 months mortgage for my parents. It's crazy."

He laughed. "Well someone is talkative today."

"It'd be perfect, except your not here."

"Really?"

"Yep. It's nice to get away for a little bit."

"Yeah. Lucky you, with Noelle's connections with the dean."

"Mhm," I said, turning off the water. "Well my bath is ready so I should go. Want me to call later?"

"I'll call when I get the chance. I miss you."

"I know. I miss you too. One more week until we can be free to be together."

"I can't wait."

"Me either. I love you."

"I love you too, Reed. Enjoy you bath."

"Bye," I said smiling and hanging up the phone. As I stepped in the bath, all I could think about was how much I truly couldn't wait to be with Josh again. Officially. For everyone to know about.

* * *

The room service came just as I was getting out of the bath. Noelle and I ate in our robes in the dining room. Some kind of pasta dish and white chocolate cake. It was delicious.

"So, would you mind if I went out with Dash tonight?"

"He's in the city?" I asked.

"Yeah, his grandparents are in town. He wants me to join them for dinner at 7. Do you mind?"

"No, of course not. But your eating dinner again?"

She laughed. "I have a large appetite. I might be gone all night though. Are you sure you'll be fine until I'm back tomorrow?"

"I'll be fine, Noelle. Just have fun with Dash. You haven't seen him in a while."

We continued eating until I glanced up at the clock. It was 6:30.

"Noelle, shouldn't you be getting ready?" I asked. After all, we were in our robes.

"Oh yeah," she said standing up. She untied her robe and tossed it to the side. She was already dressed in a plum wrap dress "I just need to finish my makeup and grab my tights and shoes."

I laughed. "Of course. I should have expected that," I said as she returned back to her room. I finished up my room and sat in the living room to watch TV. A night alone in New York and nothing to do. I was wishing Josh were here when Noelle stepped into the room, looking perfectly polished as always. It was 6:55.

"Alright, Dash should be here any minute now. Do I look grandparent ready?"

"Yeah. Dash will like the way the dress shows your curves and the grandparents will like how it keeps you covered up."

Then the doorbell rang.

"Damnit, I have to go grab my bracelet. Will you get that," Noelle said rushing towards her room.

"Sure," I said opening the door.

I wasn't expecting for Dash to look so handsome in his dress pants and oxford shirt. I gasped as his eyes met mine.

"Hey, Reed," he said genuinely happy. I could tell because of his smile.

"Dash. Um, hi," I said, tightening my robe. Why had I not put on clothes yet?

"Where's Noelle?" he said, eyes still locked on me.

"Getting a bracelet. Come in," I said. He followed me into the living room and sat down in an armchair.

"Reed, can I talk to you?" he said.

"Noelle will be back in a second," I said, wanting to avoid the inevitable conversation that was to follow.

"Nah, we have time. She always changes at least once after I come to the door."

"Fine, what is there to talk about?"

"Well, the Legacy."

"What about it?" I asked looking away from him.

"Well, I think we both agree that it was a mistake. Sure, I had feelings for you, but you have Josh and I have Noelle. So I got over it. Can we just go back to being friends now? Or is that too awkward."

I let out a sigh in relief. "No that sounds good to me. It was a mistake, yes. I sudden lapse in judgment. I'm just glad I got everything back despite it. And no it's not to awkward."

"You and Josh got back together?"

"Um, yeah. It's not really public yet because of some stuff, but yeah." What it just me or did his jaw just tighten?

He smiled a fake smile. "That's great."

"What's great?" Noelle said coming into the room.

"Reed and Josh getting back together," Dash said cheerfully.

"Oh yeah. Those two lovebirds belong together," Noelle said. "Now enough with the sweetness. Dash, we should get going. Bye Reed. Don't get too bored here all _alone_," she said smiling. What was that for?

"Bye Reed," Dash said getting up from his chair.

"Bye guys," I said as they left.

And then there was silence.

* * *

I awoke from a nap to someone climbing in bed. Instantly, I jumped out of the bed and let out a small scream. Who was here? Arianna?

"Reed, calm down," I heard a male voice say. Was is just me or did he sound a lot like…

"Josh?" I said as a light turned on. Josh was sitting on the bed, hand on the lamp. I jumped back on the bed. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Being with you. I didn't mean to scare you thought. I'm sorry."

"You know, there's only one thing you can do to make it up to me," I said, acting coy.

"What's that?" he asked, looking at me right in the eyes. Just like Dash had. Ugh, Reed, don't think about Dash at a time like this.

"Kiss me."

Before Dash's name could even run through my head again, Josh's lips were on mine.

* * *

**LONG CHAPTER! yay, happy? Plus i ended with Josh. Review por favor.**


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Private. Kate Brain does.**

I stepped out of a rotating door in a silk burgundy ruffled blouse tucked into a BCBG pencil skirt. My grey and white oxford heels clicked on the concrete sidewalk outside of the New York Times Building. Much to my protesting, Noelle and Josh had purchased me bags and bags of new clothes and shoes at Saks, all of which Noelle picked out. Noelle even had a surprise for me: a black quilted Marc Jacobs bag that she had pre-ordered for me back in the fall.

"That was amazing," Noelle sang as we stepped into a yellow taxi. We'd gone to the one of the alums who worked for the Times to give her the inside scoop on the story. Now they were planning on doing a front page expose on the Carmichael family. Needless to say, I felt terrible.

"Don't you feel bad about how Amberly's life is about to be ruined?'

"Not really. I gave her the opportunity to end this. But she didn't take it. Now she'll suffer the consequences come Monday morning."

I could see her logic behind not feeling bad, but I still felt terrible. My conscience had been screaming at me "THIS IS WRONG!" the whole time we'd been in the Times building, but it was too late. Noelle was on a mission, which meant she was unstoppable.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I feel bad about this."

"Sometimes I think you're too nice for Billings."

"Thanks," I said sardonically.

"Hey, let me finish," she said sinking into her seat. "But then you do something totally Billings worthy, which proves to me that you do belong."

"Thanks." I said yawning.

"Didn't get much sleep last night, huh?" she asked giggling. "Did Josh keep you up?"

I laughed. Noelle had come to wake me up this morning and did not look the least bit surprised that Josh was in my bed. Turned out they'd planned the whole entire thing. The going out with Dash's "grandparents" was all a ploy to get rid of Noelle for the night.

"As a matter of fact, we did. Talking until 1 am."

"You two are so extremely boring. When are you going to finally do the deed?"

"That's a question for Josh. I have no idea. It's not like I don't try."

"Maybe you just don't know how to properly seduce him. You should have told me this earlier and we'd have gotten some lingerie at Saks."

I pictured myself, standing in front of a bed in silk lingerie, and was instantly mortified. My face was bright red, I was sure.

"Lingerie is not my thing, Noelle. Plus Josh has some special night planned. He's completely unseducible."

"That's lame," she said, closing her eyes.

"So what about you," I said noticing her closed eyes. "Late night with Dash?"

She yawned, opening one eye.

"Yep. We had some catching up to do. And by that I mean-"

"Noelle, I know what that means," I said, trying to erase the picture of Dash and Noelle in bed from my mind for the second time in 24 hours.

I stared out the window, taking in New York, the rest of the ride back to the hotel. No matter how many times I visited New York City, it dazzled me every time just as it had the first time. Noelle had told me a few times today to stop looking up like a tourist.

I entered the suite to find Josh sitting in the living room watching a football game on TV. He'd stayed at the hotel, not wanting to even know about what "Billings business" we'd had to take care of. And I was glad he didn't want to know. I could just imagine the disappointment in his eyes if I'd told him what I was doing. We'd probably end up in another fight about Billings, and I definitely didn't want that drama all over again. 15 minutes later, Noelle's limo was here to take us back to Easton.

* * *

We were in the limo when my phone rang. Restricted number, it said on the caller ID. I was a bit scared of who it was calling. After what had happened to me, a restricted number meant nothing good. I looked back and forth from Noelle to Josh, making sure they were still asleep, before I answered.

"Hello," I said. Thank god my voice hadn't cracked.

"Reed, its Amberly." I let out a long sigh. Seriously? I was scared over this?

"Amberly, what do you want?" I asked.

"I…I need to ask you for a favor," she said quietly. Tentative, almost.

"What do you need?"

"I need you to, um, convince Noelle to, um, not go to the Times with the, uh, stuff about m…m…my dad," she said, even quieter, blubbering as if she were about to cry.

I sighed. "Amberly…it's too late. I can't help you."

"What?!" she said, a little bit louder this time.

"Yeah, Noelle already went to the Times. We're on our way back to Easton now. I'm sorry."

"Mhm, sure. Don't say sorry, it's not like you didn't go with her. It's not like you don't hate me," she said, finally sounding like herself again.

"Amberly, I never wanted this to happen to you."

"Reed, please. Don't act like you care. You don't."

Then the line went dead.

* * *

I know it was short, but if I get lots of reviews I'll post a really long chapter next!


	11. Chapter 11

I got the the cafeteria before most people the next morning. It was empty except for the foreign exchange students, all huddled at their table whispering over something. I swear I heard the sound of newspaper shuffling as I exited the lunch line, making my way over to the Billings table. Astrid and Trey entered shortly after I came in. They sat across from each other, casually, still not wanting to publically admit they were dating. As more students shuffled in, the table filled up with Billings Girls and Ketlar boys. Josh sat at the other end of the table from me, but smiled at me as he shoveled donuts into his mouth.

"I wonder what the news has for me today," Trey said, lifting a copy of the New York Times from his messenger bag and placing it on the table.

"You and your obsession with the New York Times," Astrid said smiling. "He can't go a day without reading it," she said to me.

I nervously picked up my milk and took a sip, just waiting. Suddenly, the newspaper flopped open, knocking Gage's half empty glass of orange juice into his lap.

"Holy shit dude, what was that?" he yelled at Trey, standing up. Instantly, all eyes were on our table.

"Sorry. It was my newspaper," Trey said, trying to clean up the mess with his one napkin. Gage picked up the newspaper and was about to use it to mop up the orange juice when he started turned his eyes to the picture on the front.

"Hey Carmichael," he called to Amberly, at the table next to us. "Your dad's front page." Everyone was still watching us.

I watched as Amberly buried her face into her hands.

"What? Why?" Josh asked, coming over to us with a bunch of napkins. His knee brushed against me as he mopped up the mess. "Sorry," he said smiling at me, then turning his attention to the newspaper.

Trey was reading the headline and Gage was scanning the story.

"Apparently the guy likes to do it with minors," Trey said, not looking up.

Suddenly, anyone in the room with a copy of the New York Times was reading. Amberly's face was still buried in her hands.

"Score 1 for Papa Carmichael!" Gage said.

"Gage, your disgusting. He's like 50 and he's having sex with minors," Noelle said.

"He is pretty hot though. I'd do him," London said.

"London, you'd do anything that walks," Tiffany replied. "I think it's gross."

A round of laughs went around the room and suddenly Amberly stood, staring at Noelle and I. I plastered an apologetic smile on my face and tried to catch her eye. Her face looked so hurt. She gave me a look, narrowing her eyes at me, as if saying "thanks for all this." And I instantly felt terrible.

Josh was still standing there, his knee still touching me. He finished scanning the story, then turned towards me.

Uh-oh. He had that look on his face. That disappointed look. He looked me in the eye for a few seconds then left the cafeteria.

"What's Hollis' problem?" Vienna asked.

"Who knows," Noelle said, giving me a knowing look before pulling out her touch screen Blackberry. I was silent.

Seconds later, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

From: Noelle

To: Reed

are you going to go after him or what?

From: Reed

To: Noelle

should i?

From: Noelle

To: Reed

of course

"I just realized I forgot something back at Billings. I'll catch up with you all later," I said picking up my bag and standing. After a short goodbye, I was standing outside on the steps, trying to figure out which was Josh had gone. I saw a blue jacketed figure making its way over to Ketlar and immediately noticed the jacket as being Josh's. I set off behind him, running.

I ran all the way to Ketler, using my key card to get it. I ran through the common room and up the stairs, not even caring if anyone saw me. But everyone was at breakfast. It was deserted. I ran up to Josh's floor and banged on his door. There was no answer, so I pushed it open to find Josh setting up an easel inside. He looked up at me with that same look of disappointment in his eyes.

"Reed, go away."

"Josh, no. I'm not leaving until I talk to you."

He ignored me, sat down on a stool, and began opening paint jars.

"Look, I know that you know what Noelle and I were doing in New York yesterday." He continued to ignore me. "Josh, please."

"What do you want me to say? I thought we agreed that you would only use your Billings powers for good. You lied to me."

"Josh, I didn't exactly do anything. I mean, I accompanied Noelle, but I didn't even say anything. I felt terrible the whole time. I didn't want to do that to Amberly. I just…" I just don't know how to explain this,

"Whatever happened to just blackmailing her. I thought you weren't going to have to release the information."

"She wouldn't leave Billings. So Noelle followed through on her plan."

"Why didn't you stop her?"

"You of all people should know that Noelle is unstoppable. I couldn't have stopped her if I tried."

"That's the thing. You didn't try," he said, a hurt look in his eyes. A look worse than any I've ever seen. I officially felt terrible.

Josh began to sling paint on his canvas, just like we'd done that one day last year. I knew it meant he was mad and trying to get his mind off things, but I just stood there.

"Are you just going to stand there?" he asked, sounding irritated.

"Yes," I said quietely.

He let out a long sigh. "Grab a brush?" he asked, as if it were a question.

I didn't speak, just walked over to his jar of brushed and took one. I walked over to the canvas and dipped it in red paint. I flung it at the canvas, and, unlike last time, none of it hit the wall. It formed a huge gash across the canvas. Next I flung green, the blue, then purple. I didn't even notice that Josh had stopped flinging paint. I was gasping for breath when I was done. I set down the brush and took a step back to survey what I had done. The whole canvas was covered in paint splotches of various colors.

"So you really didn't mean to hurt Amberly?" Josh said.

"What? I mean, of course not. But where did that come from?" I questioned.

"That," he said pointing to the canvas, "is a sign of someone who is very troubled."

I turned away from the painting and towards him.

"I feel terrible about the whole thing. I didn't want it to happen."

"I can tell," he said smiling. "It's nice though, your first painting."

"If it even qualifies as that."

"It does. It's nice. I like it," he said.

"So your not mad at me anymore?"

"I can tell that you obviously didn't mean for this all to happen, so no. I'm not mad."

"Good, because I could really use you right now," I said stepping closer to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my hips and pulling me closer.

"I feel so bad about this whole thing. Amberly gave me this look when she left the cafeteria. It was…" I didn't even know how to describe it.

"That bad, huh?" he said, pulling me onto his lap.

"I feel like a horrible person," I said.

"Good thing you aren't one," he said kissing me on the forehead.

"Promise?" I asked. He placed his forehead against mine.

"Promise."

* * *

By Wednesday, a media storm had picked up the Dustin Carmichael story, Amberly was locking herself in her room only to come out for finals, Mr. Carmichael was brought into questioning by the police, and six underage girls whose names could not be released were given the chance to press statutory rape charges. To deal with all of this, we were having a Billings meeting in the parlor.

"Sorry to pull you from your studying, girls, but in the face of current events, I felt we should have a meeting. We all know that this is a tough time for Amberly and her family, and she would like to say something."

"Hi, everyone. I just wanted to tell you that I'll be leaving Easton after this semester to return home to Seattle. My family needs me and I will do homeschooling there. So, Noelle, looks like you got just what you want."

Noelle gave Amberly a dirty look and Astrid spoke up.

"What does she mean by that, Noelle?"

Whispers went around the room. Amberly stood.

"She just means that she blackmailed me trying to get me to leave Billings. Obviously I didn't leave, and this happened."

More chatter went through the room. Noelle looked like she didn't know what to say.

"You did this Noelle?" Tiffany asked.

"As a matter of fact, I did. And don't act like you all wouldn't have done the same thing. The only reason Amberly is even in Billings was because of me. I told you to vote her in, and you did. Now we won't have to worry about her anymore."

"But you didn't have to hurt her whole family," Astrid said. "I can't believe this."

"Astrid, don't make me do the same thing to you. Now girls, quiet."

The room was so quiet I could hear Constance breathing beside me.

"Alright," Noelle said now that it was quiet. "Meeting adjourned," she continued, standing and walking out of the room.

The whispers started again, but no one except Amberly. I could tell they were going to talk about this now that Noelle was gone, and I honestly didn't want to hear what they had to say. I stood up and walked to the staircase, ready to follow Amberly up.

"Reed, don't you have anything to say about this," Astrid said. "I'd think you'd be against this." The room was quiet again.

"Actually, Astrid, no. I sort of knew about it. Noelle and I blackmailed Amberly. I didn't want to go to the Times, but its not like I could have stopped Noelle," I said turning to walk up the stairs.

"Reed, wait! You knew about this!?" Astrid called.

The whispers had resumed again and I really didn't want to be a part of the discussion so I ignored her. Up in my room, I sighed and collapsed on my bed. Billings was exhausting. I couldn't wait to go home for break and sleep. But just before I fell asleep there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I said sighing.

"Hey, Reed. It's me, Amberly." I opened one eye.

"What do you want?" I said, opening the other.

"Well, I figured that since you ruined my life and all, you could come help me pack." This should have sounded bitchy and cold, but Amberly had a light, joking tone. Friendly, almost. I sat up surprised.

"Reed, look, I don't want to be mad at you. I know that I'm just a freshman. I'm no match for you. And I understand that it was mainly Noelle who did the whole thing, so I forgive you. Now do you want to help me pack or not?"

I sat for a minute thinking. Did I really want to befriend her? "Well I guess it's the least I can do."


	12. Chapter 12

sorry, mega writers block with this, so i havent updated.

DISCLAIMER: kate brian owns private, not me :)

* * *

After dinner, Noelle and I met at Coffee Carma. She'd said she needed to talk to me about something.

"Hey, Noelle," I said, arriving out of the cold and stripping off my new khaki trench coat.

"Someone looks amazing today," she said. "Thanks to the clothing I bought her."

I laughed, looking down at what I was wearing. Plain old jeans and a stripped turtleneck sweater with my new suede riding boots, but nothing special.

"Thanks," I said anyways. "So what business do we have to take care of today?"

"Well, I thought I'd run this by you first, since your vice president and all now."

Oh yeah, I was. Amberly was leaving, so no race. "What is it?" I asked curiously.

"First of all, sit down. Your going to be shocked by what I'm about to say," she said smiling.

"What is it?" I asked, even more curious now. I sat down.

"Well, since Amberly is going to be gone, we need a new girl in Billings. And well, I wanted to extend the invitation to Ivy. I want to burry the hatchet."

She was right, I was shocked. "I..Ivy?" I said slowly, quietly.

"Do you think she'll join?"

"I…I don't know."

"I hope so," she said, looking very doubtful. "We could use her. Plus I actually really liked her, before the whole incident junior year."

"Wow." It was all I could say. Watching Noelle actually look doubtful also made me speechless.

"Reed, say something," Noelle said, looking nervous. "Do you hate the idea?" Wow. Noelle Lange showing a nervous side. Around _me_.

"I could talk to her and convince her," I said, finally finding my voice. I wasn't too sure I had the power to convince Ivy to join Billings, but if Noelle needed me, I would try.

Noelle's face suddenly lit up. "I forget you guys are friends now, or whatever. But your influence would be helpful."

"You think so?"

"Definitely. Just push all that 'scholarship and lifetime benefits' crap that the alumni are all about."

"No one can resist the perks of Billings," I said smiling.

"Definitely not. Its so worth it. Why do you think we go through hazing just to get in?" Noelle said laughing.

It was quiet for a moment, but before it could get awkward, Noelle ended the silence.

"So how are you doing lately?" she asked, actually looking genuine. Like she really cared. Why was is so hard for me to except this sweeter side of Noelle?

"I'm really good. Josh and I are perfect. Finals are going good."

She suddenly looked unhappy. "Well I'm glad someone is doing good."

Uh-oh. I did not mean to upset Noelle. "Trouble in paradise?" I asked sincerely.

"Well, would it be too pathetic if I said I miss Dash like crazy?" she asked.

"Not at all! That's perfectly normal. I mean, he is all the way at Yale."

"Something is up with him, though. He never makes the effort to come see me. Sometimes I wonder if he misses me at all. And then I worry that there's someone else. But then I think, hey, I'm Noelle Lange. Who would be crazy enough to ruin things with me?"

Oh, just Dash McCafferty. In October. With me. I gulped. "I'm sure he's just busy with school. You saw him last weekend, though."

She didn't look convinced. "I guess. But this past weekend he didn't seem excited to see me. That really made me wonder if there was someone else on his mind."

Yeah, I'd like to know the same thing. Did Dash he not want to be with Noelle anymore? Was he still thinking about me? Then why had he said that we were a mistake? I needed to get Dash and Noelle together and happy very quickly before something else happened. I did not need Dash trying to hit on me again.

* * *

When I returned back to my room later than night, there was another bouquet of roses. Sick of the stupid secret admirer, I threw them in the trash without even reading the card. Then I turned on my laptop, ready to email Dash. We were 'friends' now, I could email him. It would be nothing like the emails before.

Dear Dash,

I was talking to Noelle recently and she was telling me that she misses you. So, I was thinking that we could set up something for you to come here and surprise her. Tomorrow or Friday would be good, you know, right before we leave for Winter Break. Hope this plan works for you. I know Noelle would love it.

-Reed

A few minutes later, a new email popped up on my screen.

Dear Reed,

I think that's a great idea. I've missed her as well. I don't have finals so tomorrow is good for you. Can't wait to see you.

Love,

Dash

_Can't wait to see you. Love, Dash. _Uh-oh. Major uh-oh. I knew that Dash only used Love, Dash for special people, not even Noelle included. In fact, the only person I knew he'd said that to was me. And that whole can't wait to see you thing. This was about Noelle! Not me. I'd thought I'd made that pretty clear in my message. I quickly deleted the messages so that no one, especially Noelle or Josh, could ever see them.

* * *

Yawning, I laid down on my bed. Then my pone buzzed. Pulling it out of my pocket, I saw that I had a text message from Josh.

To: Reed

finally. i've been waiting

To:Josh

waiting for what?

To: Reed

youre light to turn on. where have you been?

To: Josh

hanging out with Noelle

To: Reed

well I was hoping we could hang out at the art cemetery, but its already past curfew

To: Josh

i can sneak out. meet me there in 10?

To: Reed

no. i dont want you getting caught

To: Josh

fine. i guess you really dont want to see me then. i'm going to sleep.

I put on my pajamas and tucked myself into bed. The phone didn't vibrate again until I was about to fall asleep.

To: Reed

i didnt mean to make you mad.

To:Josh

well i am

To: Reed

what if i said meet me at the art cemetery in 15 mins?

I quickly tossed on some clothes and grabbed my jacket. I snuck out of Billings and across the campus, dodging security lights wherever I went. 10 minutes later, I was in the art cememtary.

"Hey," Josh said, helping me take off my coat.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"Don't tell me your still mad," he said groaning.

"I'm not. Just tired."

"Too tired to make out with me?" he asked hopefully.

I looked at his smile and instantly knew my answer. "I'm never too tired for that," I said matching his smile.

After a quite a while spend heatedly kissing, I yanked off Josh's shirt. His kissing slowed and he forced himself to pull away.

"Reed, we should stop."

I tried to kiss him again but he turned his face away.

"Why?" I asked, putting a puppy dog face on. "Please, Josh."

"Reed, no. I told you I had a special night planned and this is not it." Josh was inching towards the other side of the couch.

"Doesn't mean we can't kiss," I said inching closer. I really didn't understand why this stopped us from kissing.

"Yeah, except I'll get way too turned on and not be able to stop myself," he said, inching even farther away. I couldn't help but smile at that comment.

"Is that so?" I questioned, smiling wider.

"Yes. Now get over here. You can have one kiss, then I'm done," he said smiling back.

"How generous of you," I joked, sliding over to him.

"I know. I'm a very generous person."

"If that were true, you'd let me undress you," I said joking again.

"Oh shut up," he joked, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Alright. My one kiss. Here goes nothing," I said leaning in and giving him a peck.

He pulled away before I could pull him closer. Dangit.

"So what do we do now?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"Well you did say you were tired. Maybe you should go back to Billings."

"Not tired anymore."

"Cuddle?" he said laughing.

"Isn't that supposed to come after the sex?" I laughed.

"Yeah, but we're skipping that part. Work with me, Reed." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest.

His bare chest was warm against my back. I settled in, cuddling against him and lacing my fingers in his. We talked until I got tired again. Talked about everything. Our childhoods, life before Easton, our families. Everything we didn't already know about each other. It was 1 AM when I finally returned to Billings.

* * *

review please


	13. Chapter 13

The next day was a blur. I took my English final and went back to Billings. Dash was supposed to get here at about 4. I would text Vienna and London when he got here, and they would bring Noelle back to Billings. I really hoped this worked out with Dash and Noelle. He needed to get his focus back on Noelle. All I had to do was remind him of how in love with Noelle he was and I'd be fine.

My phone buzzed, bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the present.

From: Dash

I'm in the student parking lot. Where is Noelle?

From: Reed

Library with twin cities. Come on over to billings

From: Dash

Cant wait to see you

My stomach lurched as I read that text, and I instantly deleted it from my inbox. Dash needed to stop with this and he needed to do it quickly. I couldn't handle dealing with him, being back in Billings, trying to keep my relationship with Josh a secret, having a secret admirer, and this whole Amberly ordeal all at once.

* * *

"Why are these flowers in the trash?" Dash asked staring into my trash can.

He'd come into Billings and up to my room, where he hugged me. And he'd held on a little longer than a friend would. He'd walked over to my desk after that, and in an awkward silence, starting looking around my room.

"I have some lame secret admirer," I shrugged. "I didn't want to keep them."

"Oh. Yeah, that is lame." Was it just me or was that a flash of hurt in his eyes? Was Dash my secret admirer? Or was he just jealous of whoever had beaten him to the punch?

"So when is Noelle getting here?" he asked, ending the awkward silence I'd been too engrossed in my thoughts to notice.

"Soon. I texted London and she's bringing her over," I responded.

"Oh," he said. Another silence followed.

"So how have you been doing lately?" he asked, sounding earnest.

"Alright," I said. "Finals are going good. Studying paid off. This whole Carmichael drama sucks though."

"Yeah. Noelle told me about it. Sucks that Amberly had to be blackmailed. But hey, at least she's not a problem anymore."

"Don't you feel the least bit bad for her?" I asked. Or was I the only one?

"I don't know. She had the chance to stop it," he shrugged.

I was about to reply when my phone vibrated. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen.

From:Vienna

Noelle is on her way up

Dang. Dash was supposed to be waiting for her in her room.

"Dash, quick. Go to Noelle's room. She's on her way up."

His eyes widened.

"Hurry! Go!" I shouted, pushing him out the door. He rushed down the hall and into Noelle's room. Shortly after, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I heard the door open and close. A loud, excited, scream followed. I quickly rushed up to the wall, trying to hear what was going on in Noelle's room next door to mine.

"What are you doing here?" I head, muffled through the wall. It was Noelle's voice.

"Well, a little birdy told me you missed me," Dash said. "So I came for a surprise visit."

"And who is this little birdy?" Noelle again. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Reed. She emailed me."

There was a silence after that. I almost didn't notice that someone was opening my door.

"Reed! What are you doing?" Noelle asked. She gave me a bizarre look, on the account of my ear being pressed up to the wall.

"Oh," I said stepping away from the wall. "Trying to hear what's going on in your room."

She sighed and looked at me. "I would tell you what a loser you are, but I'm actually here to thank you. It was, um, nice of you to get Dash to come visit me."

"Aw, Noelle being sweet!" I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Oh whatever. If you keep doing that I won't be nice anymore. But anyways, I don't think your going to want to hear what's happening in my room next, so get away from the wall," she said. "If you know what I mean."

Oh yeah, I knew what she meant. Why did she always have to give me that mental picture?

* * *

30 minutes after that, I got a text.

From: Josh

Art cemetery in 5?

I texted back "of course" and was on my way across campus. The entrance to the art cemetery was deserted, and I slipped in unnoticed. Josh was laying on the couch looked drowsy when I entered. He instantly jumped up and pulled my by my coat towards him. Wrapping his arms around my hips, he pulled me in for a long, hungry kiss. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I was wondering what this was all about.

"Josh," I said when he finally pulled away. "What was that for?"

He pushed his body up against mine and kissed me again. "I just had the sexiest dream about you," he whispered into my ear before kissing my neck. He peeled off my jacket and was working on the buttons of my shirt before I realized there was something wrong with this picture.

"Josh," I said pulling away, "what happened to the whole special night thing?"

"Reed," he said, squinting his eyes in confusion. "I thought you'd like this."

I did. "I do. It's just that this whole mixed signal thing is a little annoying," I said.

Josh sighed and sat down on couch. I sat down next to him and pulled his hand into my lap.

"I just thought… that you wanted to make out and stuff," he said.

"I do. But then you made up your mind about the special night. And I don't want to make out until then because then we'll have to stop in a heated moment, which isn't really fair to either of us," I said, all in a rush.

"Yeah, that makes since. I was just really turned on by that dream," he said turning to me and smiling.

"Tell me about it?" I asked curiously.

"Nah, I think I'll keep this one to myself," he teased.

"Pretty, pretty, please?" I asked.

"Nope," he said sitting back and putting his arm around me. I leaned in and rested my head in the crook of his neck.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Josh asked, "So what does Reed Brennan want for Christmas?"

I sighed. With all that was going on lately, I'd completely forgotten about Christmas. I had no idea what I wanted. "Well, all I wanted for Christmas was you. But I already got that."

"Ah, so now you're the girl who has everything," he said.

"Not really, but I'm doing pretty good," I said laughing. "Why? Do you not know what to get me?" I asked.

"Oh no. I've had your gift picked out for a while now. I was planning this whole thing where I'd get back together with you on Christmas but I couldn't wait that long."

I laughed. "Good, cause I couldn't have waited that long either."

He put his hand on my chin and turned my face to kiss me.

"So, Josh," I began, "what are your Christmas plans? Still going to Paris with Ivy?" I teased.

"Nope. Just home to New York. And you?"

"Same for me. Just home to Croton."

He let out a laugh.

"What?" I asked whipping my head around. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"No reason," he said smiling. I could tell he was lying to me, but I didn't push the issue.


	14. Chapter 14

well, even though I only got 4 reviews (:[) out of 40 visitors I'm posting a new chapter because its the holidays. and my writers block was cured yesterday and I wrote three new chapters!

* * *

"Reed Brennan," a voice shouted. The lights in my room were suddenly turned on and the covers were ripped off my bed. "Your presence is requested in the Billings parlor."

"Astrid? Constance? What is this?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

They giggled. "C'mon. Noelle has Christmas gifts for us downstairs."

I followed the girls downstairs to the parlor door, which was closed. Everyone else was standing around waiting.

"Noelle is taking forever," Missy said yawning.

"Is Reed there?" came Noelle's voice from inside the parlor.

"Yes. She's here," Missy said impatiently. "Finally."

"Alright, girls, you may enter."

The doors opened and Noelle jumped out from behind then. "Welcome to Noelle's winter wonderland," she said.

The parlor looked exactly like it usually did. Except the old red couches were pushed out of the way to make room for a rack of clothing with each girl's name on it. And the huge flat screen TV hanging above the fireplace, complete with a big bow hanging from the corner.

The girls excitedly chattered as the found their rack. I was just standing in the middle of the room because there was no rack with my name on it.

"Reed, what are you doing?" Constance asked as she flipped through the skirts on her rack.

"I don't have a rack," I said taking a seat on the couch.

"I figured everyone needed a new wardrobe with a special Noelle Lange touch. Merry Christmas girls!" Noelle said excitedly; glad to see that her present was a success. She came over and sat on the couch next to me.

"Don't worry, Reed. You'll get your gift on Christmas. Plus I already gave you a new wardrobe."

"Nice TV," I said grabbing the remote and turning it on to the news.

"Yeah, that old one was so not doing it for me. 24 inches is totally not big enough."

"Thanks so much Noelle!" Shelby said as she walked by towards the kitchen. "I think we need some cider to celebrate!"

"I want eggnog," Rose said as she followed Shelby to the kitchen.

Noelle sighed and looked around. "Success feels good, huh?" she aksed.

"I wouldn't know."

"Oh, please Reed, you've been successful before. What about when you got firsts? Or at the fundraiser?"

"I guess," I said yawning. "But right now I just want to get home and sleep."

"That reminds me, a car will be here to get you at four," Noelle said.

"What are you talking about?"

"I got a car to take you to Croton. Billings girls don't ride Greyhound."

"Oh, thanks Noelle," I said yawning again. "I'm going to go upstairs and pack."

"Alright. Maybe you can fit in a nap after that," she said smiling at me.

"And don't forgot to talk to Ivy!" she called as I made my way up the stairs.

Oh yeah, Ivy.

* * *

At 2, after a nap and packing, I said goodbye to the Billings girls. They were all off to their respective homes and I was in Billings alone. I was sitting on the couch watching the new TV when there was a knock on the back door. I jumped up startled and went to answer it. A tall, dark haired figure was standing with her back to me. Ivy Slade.

"Hey Ivy," I said opening the door.

She came in without saying anything and sat down on the couch. "Want to tell me what the hell this is about?" she asked pulling a cream white piece of paper from her bag. I could see the gold writing on the page. I knew instantly what it said.

Ivy Slade

The girls of Billings House would like to

invite you into the sisterhood of Billings.

Etc, etc, etc. It was the same kind of note every Billings girl before Ivy had received. And now it was my job to convince her to join.

"It's an invitation to Billings," I said.

"Yes, but why me?" she said incredulously. "I hated Billings."

Hated? As in past tense? That was good at least.

"Well Amberly left Billings so we have an opening. Noelle and I talked it over and we would love to have you as a member of Billings. You have what it takes, obviously because you were invited before."

"This has got to be a joke. After all I went through before, Reed. This is sick."

"Ivy, it's not a joke," I assured her. "We want you in Billings. You belong here. Everyone knows that. Just forget the past and except the invite."

"Why should I?"

"Well I'd tell you because off all of the connections it gives you, connections with everyone from the president of admissions at Yale to the editor in chief of Elle. But that's a bunch of bull shit, right? You should join because of the sisterhood. Because of the honor. Because of the status. Because we want you here," I said, more powerful than I even thought I was capable of being.

She thought about it for a minute. "Fine, I'm in," she said sighing.

"Really?" I said, not believing it. The girl who hated Billings the most was actually excepting an invitation.

"Yes," she said. "I can't believe it either. Ever since I knew about Easton, I've wanted to be in Billings. Even after all that happened, I still wanted to be in Billings. I just pretended to hate it because I knew I should, you know, after my grandma dying," she said, a tear running down her check. She quickly wiped it away, but I saw a million more just waiting to fall. "But I never stopped wanted to be a Billings girl. And now I can be."

"Welcome to the sisterhood," I said cheesily, trying to make her smile.

She laughed, a few more tears falling down her face. "It's good to be here."

* * *

After Ivy left, I continued watching TV. There was a knock on the back door, and I got up to answer it. A tall figure stood, facing away from me. Déjà vu, big time. Except this tall person had blonde curly hair.

"Josh!" I said opening the door.

"Hey, Reed," he said pulling me into a hug.

For some reason, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him. And then, right there in the back hallway of Billings, we were kissing.

"Can I put you down now?" Josh said as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just going to miss you a lot," I said frowning.

Josh smirked.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"Oh nothing," he said. Again, I could tell he was lying. Something was up. Every time we talked about me going home for Winter Break he couldn't stop smiling. It was like he was hiding something from me. A surprise of some sort.

"My car comes in 45 minutes," I said pulling him into the parlor. "What do you want to do until then?"

"Your car is outside and ready," he said smiling wider.

"What?" I asked curioiusly.

"Just follow me," he said, pulling a bandana out of his pocket.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"To blindfold you with," he said wrapping it around my eyes and tying it.

"Josh. What is this?" I asked, trying to yank off the bandana. Unfortunately, he'd tied it very tight and was holding it so I couldn't pull it off.

"Nothing," he said. Although I couldn't see him smiling, I knew he was.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"Outside," he responded.

"We can't," I said stopping walking. We couldn't. Someone could see us.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because of Ivy."

"Reed, my deal with Ivy is over as of today. We can do whatever we want. Now come on, start walking," he said while opening the door.

He led me down the front steps of Billings and then picked me up.

"Woah, Josh. Why are you carrying me?" I asked surprised.

"Because I don't wait you to know where we're going," he responded laughing.

"Josh please put me down," I pleaded. "Now. Please." I didn't like this whole not knowing where I was going.

"Reed, what are you afraid of? I've got you. Just cooperate please," Josh said. I could hear in his voice that he was smiling. And I did not want him laughing at me.

"Stop smiling," I said.

"Fine," he mumbled as he started to walk across what I thought was the quad.

I was silent until he set me on the ground 5 minutes later. I had no idea where we were.

"Take the blindfold off now," I demanded.

"Yes ma'am," he said. Then he proceeded to take on the blindfold as slow as he possibly could.

"Josh, hurry up," I said.

Finally the blindfold was off. Josh was covering my eyes though, so I couldn't see. He turned me around 180 degrees and took his hands of my face.

I opened my eyes to see his Porsche. We were in the student parking lot.

"Josh, what is this?" I asked.

"This is your ride to Croton."

"What? But this is your car," I said confussed.

"Exactly. I'm going to Croton with you."

"Wha-" I began to say. But Josh interrupted me by putting his finger over my lips.

"I talked to your parents already. They can't wait to see me."

"Josh," I said. "This is perfect. Thank you."

"I know, I know. I'm the perfect boyfriend," he said, pulling me close to him.

"You really are. Just don't get too cocky," I said smiling and kissing him.

* * *

"This is so surreal," I said as we pulled up to the small house I had grown up in.

"What?" Josh asked shifting into park.

"You being here in Croton. It's so weird, like 'which one of these does not belong,'" I responded.

"Are you alright with all of this?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I guess. It's just weird. Promise not to laugh at how small my house is?" I said trying to make Josh laugh to cover up my embarrassment.

It didn't work. "Reed, none of that. I want to see how you grew up, don't be embarrassed by it."

"It's just that my house could fit in one floor of yours. You are way out of my league rich."

"Good thing I love you anyways," he said opening his door. He stepped out and walked over to my side of the car. He opened the door for me and then grabbed our bags from out of the back seat.

We walked up the front walk hand in hand and rang the doorbell. Scott came to answer it almost immediately. His face looked like Scott, but his clothing didn't. He wore khakis and a red polo, something way out of his uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. And his hair was neatly combed. Something was up.

"Reed!" he shouted, stepping aside to let me in the door. "You're here!" At least he still sounded the same. He gave me a firm hug. At least he still hugged like Scott.

My mom and dad came rushing into the small entry way to hug me. After the hugs were over, I turned my attention to Josh, who was standing in the corner smiling at me.

"Mom, Dad, Scott, this is Josh, my boyfriend," I said grabbing his hand.

"Hi, Mr. Brennan. We spoke on the phone. I'm Josh Hollis," Josh said, pushing out his hand to shake.

My dad took his hand. "A firm shake this boy's got," he said to me.

My mom pulled Josh in for a hug. "Hi Josh. It's so nice to finally meet you," she said. So far, so good. She didn't look drugged up or anything.

"It's nice to meet you all too," he said as Scott gave him a look over.

"He looks alright to me," Scott said. "Now, Reed, let's go in the kitchen." He had the biggest smile on his face.

"What's in the kitchen?" I asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," he said. My parents gave him a knowing look. Scott grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the kitchen. We entered the familiar kitchen with the tiny geese on the wallpaper and at the kitchen table was sitting a girl with dark brown hair and green eyes. She was sitting turned away from us.

"This my girlfriend," Scott whispered with a huge on his face.

Whoa. Scott had a girlfriend? And he was bringing her home to the family? This was a major first.

"Hi. I'm Reed," I said as the girl turned around. And then I couldn't breathe.

* * *

mwah cliffhanger! review if you want to know who scott's girlfriend is!


	15. Chapter 15

i loved all of the reviews you guys! keep it up. oh and Sabine is dead sillies. remember, she was shot at the party?

* * *

"I know," the girl said. "I've heard so much about you," she said smiling and grabbing Scott's hand.

"Oh my god," I said, still not believing who was standing in front of me. In my house. "K…K…Kiran."

"Oh yeah…about that," Scott said. He was about to continue when Kiran cut him off.

"Let me talk to her," she said squeezing his hand.

And with that Kiran pulled me down the hall to Scott's bedroom.

"Seriously," I said sitting on the bed, "I don't even know where to begin."

"How about I tell you what I've been doing since September?" she said sitting next to me.

"You've been modeling around the world. That's what you told everyone," I said.

"Actually, I've been doing something else. Secretly," she said.

I was dumbfounded and I was sure I looked like it. "What?"

"Well I've been going to Penn State since September. I know, how blah, but Penn State didn't care about my, um, record." Her record. With that whole Thomas incident.

"But why lie?" I asked confused.

"Do you really think Noelle would approve of Penn State? And modeling is so much more glamorous. I've been doing some, just focusing more on school for now," she answered.

It took me a minute to process all that was going on. "But where does Scott come in?"

"We met in literature class and we've been dating ever since."

"Wow. This is so crazy."

"I know. Your brother is amazing though. I think I'm falling in love. He's the only person that really gets me." Amazing. Kiran Hayes in love with _Scott Brennan_. My lame, geeky brother.

"I still can't believe this though. I mean, my geeky brother Scott with the most beautiful girl to ever grace Easton Academy. It's pure craziness," I said.

"Well you know, I've always had a thing for geeks," Kiran said laughing. At first I didn't know what she was talking about, but then it dawned on me.

"James from Dreck!" I said laughing harder.

"Yep, James. He was great. Like Scott, he didn't care so much about looks. He liked me for me."

"Are you the one who gave him the makeover?" I asked curiously.

"Oh yeah! I hope you don't mind. He just needed some spicing up."

"Of course I don't mind. I've been trying to get him out of T-shirts and jeans forever."

"Knock knock," came a voice from the door. Scott.

"Come in," Kiran said smiling.

"How are my girls getting along?" he asked.

"Great. Just catching up. I haven't seen Reed in forever," Kiran said standing up and walking over to Scott.

By the way that he looked at her I could tell that he was in love. It was such a weird thing to see my brother in love. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her out of the room.

"Josh is looking for you, Reed," Scott informed me. I jumped off the bed and followed them out the door and into the living room. Josh was sitting on the couch next to my mom, looking at an album with baby pictures.

"Hey Josh!" Kiran said smiling at him. They'd always been friendly back at Easton. I hope he had no hard feelings after the whole Thomas thing.

"Hey Kiran. Crazy seeing you here," he responded laughing. So I guess Scott had filled him in on the Kiran thing, because he didn't look surprised.

"Josh, want to come see my room?" I asked. I wanted to talk to him, make sure he was okay with Kiran being here.

"Sure, Reed," he said standing up. "We can look at pictures later, Mrs. Brennan," he said. My mom just smiled at him. At least he'd charmed her. My dad, who was sitting in his recliner, didn't look so convinced. If only he knew how not like other guys Josh was.

* * *

Josh followed me into my room and sat down on my small full sized bed. It was silent as he surveyed my room, which was exactly as I'd left it. Pale yellow walls, cerulean blue comforter, chest of drawers, small desk, and a big window that let in natural light.

"Are you alright with all of this?" I asked worriedly.

"Of course. I've always liked Kiran. She's pretty cool once she gets past all that 'I'm beautiful' crap."

I sighed, relieved. "Good," I said sitting on the bed next to him. He put his arm around me.

"But the real question is, are you alright?" He was so perfect, always worried about me.

"What? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, your brother dating Kiran is a pretty crazy thing."

"I know. At first I was very shocked but now I'm good. I like Kiran a lot. She's always been a good friend."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad you're okay," he said smiling.

"Not okay. Perfect. How are you? I can see that my mom loves you."

"I'm good. Your mom is really nice."

I smirked. She wasn't always like that.

"What? Why are you smirking?" Josh asked.

"It's just that… my mom hasn't always been this nice caring person."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've never really told anyone this," I said nervously. Was I really about to tell him my secret about my mom?

"You can trust me, Reed. You know that."

"Well, my mom used to be addicted to prescription drugs. For the longest time, she was a zombie. It's why I came to Easton. But then after I left, it was like a wake up call to her and she got better."

"Reed," he said squeezing my hand. "You've kept that to yourself all this time? You could have told me. We could have talked about it."

"I know. But it's okay now. She's better. And I'm fine."

"Good. Just remember, you can talk to me about anything."

"I know, I know," I said smiling and kissing him.

* * *

"Well, well, what do we have here?" an icy voice said. It was completely dark and I was in a cold room. I pulled my sweater closer to my body and shivered.

"Reed Brennan," said a deep voice. The lights suddenly turned on. I was standing in my room at Easton. Except it didn't look like my room. All the furniture was gone and two figures sat, back to me, in desk chairs.

"What is this?" I asked. "Where am I?"

Snickering laughs came from the desk chairs. People were laughing at me. The laughs were so cold. It made me shiver more.

"Reed," the icy voice said again. "We're here to finish you off."

The two figures turned around in their chairs. The faces of Ariana Osgood and Sabine DuLac stared back at me and I let out a scream.


	16. Chapter 16

"Reed, Reed, wake up. It's just a nightmare. Wake up, Reed," a voice said. I let out a small scream again.

"Reed, open your eyes. It's just me. It's just Josh," the voice said again. I opened my eyes and Josh was hovering over me.

"Josh?" I asked. "What are you doing here?" I turned on my side and realized that I was at home. In the room I'd grown up in.

"You were having a nightmare. I heard you scream from the living room," he said. Then I remembered. I was at home for Winter Break and Josh was here with me. My dad had made him sleep on the couch in the living room.

"I had the worst dream," I said pulling aside the covers. "Here, climb in," I said to Josh.

"Are you sure?" he said looking at the bed. "Your dad…"

"Just get in. I don't care what he says."

"Alright," he said climbing in next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I settled in lying against his chest. "Tell me about your dream."

"Well," I began. "people were laughing at me with these cold icy laughs. Then they turned around and it was Arianna and Sabine. Then I screamed and you woke me up."

Josh let out a short laugh and instantly covered his mouth. I play slapped him on the chest.

"What was that for?" he instantly asked.

"For laughing at my dream! I was really scared," I said seriously.

He chuckled again. "Sorry, it's just funny. You screamed because they were laughing at you."

"No. I screamed because it was Arianna and Sabine," I said, with a 'duh' tone.

He stopped laughing. "Oh. I'm sorry," he said wrapping his arms around me tighter. "Well I'll just stay here the rest of the night and protect you from the nightmares," Josh said. I could tell he was smiling.

"Thank you," I said, also smiling.

* * *

"I cannot believe how much shopping we did," I said as Kiran and I entered the house, arms full of shopping bags. She'd taken me to Philadelphia today to do Christmas present shopping. The stores had been packed, as Christmas is in three days, but I got all of my presents bought except for Noelle's and my moms.

"I know. My arms are killing me," she said laughing. We parted ways in the hallway, me heading to my room and Kiran heading to Scott's.

I entered my room expecting to see Josh but it was empty. A note was on the bed.

Reed-

Took your dad and

Scott golfing. Be back

later. I love you.

-Josh

So he was bonding with Scott and my dad. That was good. Maybe he wouldn't have to sneak out of my bed and back onto the couch like he had this morning. I dropped all of my bags and went to find my mom. She was in the living room, in the dark, staring blankly at the TV screen. Oh no. She was watching infomercials. Not good, not good, _so_ not good.

"Mom!" I said shaking her arm. She didn't move. Her eyes were glazed over and she just stared at me.

"Reed," she mumbled. No, no, no, no, no. This was not happening. Mom only watched infomercials when she was on drugs. She was supposed to be better, cured. This was all just another nightmare.

"Let's get you into bed, Mom," I said trying to pull her off the couch.

"What?" she mumbled, slowly standing up.

"Come on. Follow me," I said pulling her towards her room. I managed to tuck her into bed without hyperventilating. After that, I ran to my room, on the verge of tears.

No Reed. Your not going to cry over something like this. You haven't done that since you were 13. It's just the same old mom. The one your used to. The one who didn't pay attention to you when you were younger. The one who was always way too gone to ever care. But it's just the same old mom, no need to cry.

But the tears fell anyways.

* * *

"Reed, wake up," a familiar voice said. Josh.

"Josh? What time is it?" I said rubbing my eyes.

"Seven pm. Reed, why is your mascara all smeared?" Josh asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Josh. I'm fine. Just fine," I said. I guess I'd cried myself to sleep.

"Are you sure your fine? You don't look alright."

"Yeah, I just need to, um. I just need to wash my face," I said making my way to the bathroom down the hall.

In the bathroom I washed my face and brushed my hair. On my way back to my room I passed my parents room and looked inside. Mom's figure was laying in the bed. She hadn't moved since I'd tucked her in. And with that sight, the tears were falling again. I ran into my room and sat on the bed. Josh walked over, confused.

"So much for being alright," he said.

"Yeah. I guess I'm not as okay as I thought I was," I said laughing. This just made more tears fall.

"So what's going on," Josh asked nervously.

Just breath Reed. In, out. In, out. "It's my mom. When Kiran and I got back from shopping she was in living room," I said. I had to stop because I was on the verge of tears again. Just breath. In, out. In, out.

"It's okay Reed, just go on."

In, out. In, out. "She was completely gone again. Just like before, when I was younger. I tucked her into bed and she's still there. Like a zombie all over again," I said, voice cracking repeatedly.

And then I was in Josh's arms.

"Reed, it's alright. It's going to be alright. It's just a relapse, it happens. The meds will wear off and you can talk to her about it. Find out why she did it."

"Yeah. I just…I was remembering old times. Back when I wasn't so independent, you know. Back when I was kid and mom did this. It was hard back then," I said, not even sure if I was making any sense.

"Shh, Reed," Josh said. He laid me down on the pillow. "Just sleep."

And sleep is exactly what I did.

"Reed, wake up," a voice came. This was beginning to be déjà vu.

I sat up and stretched. "Hey Josh," I said groggily.

"You missed dinner. I hope you don't mind."

"It's fine," I assured him. "But who made dinner?"

"Me," he said shrugging sheepishly.

"You cooked?"

"Yeah. I like to cook," he said walking towards my desk.

"I never knew that," I said stretching and yawning.

"Really? I swear I told you," he said picking up his pill box.

I watched as he counted out his pills, making sure that he was only taking what was prescribed. We didn't want any more blue pill incidents.

"Um, Reed," Josh said.

"Yeah?"

"My sleeping med is missing. I swear I put it in there yesterday."

And that could only mean one thing.


	17. Chapter 17

**finally updating. i'm so sorry you guys, i got so busy with school and swim team. i might not update for a while, i really don't know. thanks for reading and please review. again, so sorry for the wait.**

* * *

"Mother," I said the next morning after the haze of the meds had finally worn off. Mom was awake and in the kitchen, sitting at the table with some coffee.

"Reed. Sit down. Would you like some coffee?" she asked. It was as if that whole drug thing last night didn't happen.

"Do you remember what happened last night, mom?" I said, still not sitting down.

She sighed and looked up at me. "Sit down, I'll explain," she said.

"Yeah, you've got some real explaining to do," I said, showing that I was mad.

"Reed, I know you're mad. And while you have every right to be, it's not as bad as it seems."

"Sure," I said sarcastically.

"Look Reed, I had a migraine. I've been getting those since I've been off the drugs. So I took a Vicodin and zoned out in the living room. Then I woke up in my bed this morning, feeling much better. I didn't mean to give in to the drugs, but my headache was just killing me," she said, sounding very sincere. But I knew she wasn't.

"You didn't take a Vicodin, Mom. You didn't have a headache. You took one of Josh's sleeping pills. I can't believe you would disappoint me like that and then lie about it," I said, biting tone to my voice. I needed her to know that a relapse was not acceptable. Especially not with Josh and Kiran here.

"Reed, I have no idea what you're talking about," she said taking a sip of her coffee.

* * *

"I seriously cannot believe her," I said to Josh as we walked through the mall later that day.

"Wait. Replay the conversation in your head. Did she sound sincere?" Josh asked.

"Yes. But I know she's not. How else would your sleeping pill have gone missing?"

He stopped walking for a moment, then caught up to me. "Maybe it was never there in the first place. Maybe I forgot to put one in the pill case for yesterday. Maybe it was me and not your mom," he said trying to make me feel better. His face didn't look so convinced, though.

"See, even you don't believe that statement."

He didn't respond, just grabbed my hand as we continued walking down the corridor towards Saks. I still needed to get a gift for Noelle and my mom, and Josh was buying since I was out of money.

"What about this?" Josh asked, holding up a gray satchel.

"What's it made out of?" I asked curiously.

"Crocodile," he replied.

"It's okay for Noelle," I said grabbing the price tag. $14,500 dollars. "But not okay for our price range. Let's move on."

"How much is it?" Josh asked.

"14,000 dollars."

Josh whistled a high note. "Damn," he said.

"Oh wait, that one over there," I said pointing to a purple bag.

"Hmm," he said picking it up and handing it to me.

I ran my hand over the shiny luxurious calfskin. It was Ferragamo and I was in heaven. I wish I had the bag for myself, but it was perfect for Noelle. It was a hobo bag that would, with top handles, rest perfectly on Noelle's shoulder. And she would love the chic plum color.

"It's perfect. We're getting it," I said turning over the price tag to see how much it was. $1,200 was much more reasonable than $14,500, but I still didn't like Josh having to buy it for me.

"I'll pay you back, I promise," I told Josh.

"That's not necessary, Reed. I already told you that. I want to do this for you." He was so sweet, but I still didn't feel comfortable with letting him buy it. I would just have to find some way to pay him back. And I had that special _something_ in mind. Just as soon as that special night came around.

"So, what are we getting for your mom?" Josh asked as we walked towards the escalators.

"I have no idea. She's a hard person to buy for. But maybe I should just get her some drugs," I said snickering. "She'd really like that."

Josh sighed. "Reed, don't be like that. I'm sure she just had a headache. Why is it so hard for you to believe her?"

"Because she's lied to many times before. When someone promises you over and over again that they'll get over their addiction but never follows through, you loose faith in them," I said. "But you wouldn't know that. What, with that perfect family of yours," I said sighing. I wish I had his family.

"Whatever," he said. "I don't want to talk about all of this drug stuff anymore. I just forgot to put a sleeping pill in my pill case, Reed. Conversation over. Now what are we getting for your mom?"

I pondered that for a moment. Mom liked things that came from the heart. "How about we make her a gift basket? It can be from both of us."

"What would you put in it?" Josh asked.

"I don't know. She likes to be comfortable."

"I know where to start," Josh said smiling and grabbing my arm.

We ended up upstairs in the apparel section. We got her a red BCBG cardigan shawl. Next we headed to the beauty and fragrance section. I got her a bottle of YSL Paris perfume, a scent I knew she would love. After picking up a Clinique skincare set and some UGG slippers, we headed to the jewelry section. I wanted to pick out something very special to remind her of me.

I ended up getting her a ruby pendant on a gold chain because we both look good in red. Then we headed back to the purse section where the found the perfect black woven Bottega Veneta tote bag to put all of the stuff in.

* * *

The ride home I was preoccupied with thoughts about my mom. I was remembering all the times I'd had to put her to bed because she was too drugged to do it herself. I was remembering last night, reliving the experience. What if we got home and she had done it again? What if I had to put her to bed every night I was here? What if she had a major relapse? Thinking about all of this, a tear rolled down my check. I quickly wiped it away, but Josh had noticed.

He slid his hand onto my knee and gave it a squeeze, trying to comfort me. This just made the tears fall harder.

"Thinking about your mom?" he asked.

"Yeah," I relied sniffling. "I just don't want all of this to happen again. I can't have it happen again."

"Then I guess this is a bad time to tell you that half of my sleeping pills went missing," he said grimly. I winced.

"Yeah. Probably not the best time. But thanks for letting me know. So how are you going to sleep now?"

"I'll just run out. Then I can stay up and watch you all night. Like a freak," he said laughing.

I fake laughed. "I'm glad you think this is funny."

"I'm kidding, Reed. Don't worry about me. I have a refill. I'll go to CVS." At least I didn't have to worry about Josh.

It was silent for a while before anyone spoke. I was lost in my thoughts. There was this one memory I had. It was my 12th birthday and Scott and Dad had invited people from my school to come over to celebrate. Mom of course came in the living room, al drugged up, like a zombie. Then she realized it was my birthday and she was hugging me and telling me how much she loved me. I was completely horrified and embarrassed. The kids didn't know exactly what was wrong with her, but that didn't stop them from teasing me for the rest of the school year.

"What if we could prove that she didn't steal my medicine?" Josh said pulling me out of my thoughts. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but I didn't believe that we could actually prove anything.

"And how would we do that?" I asked in a very doubtful tone. But I was curious. I wanted to know what he had up his sleeve.

"Well, I could purposely leave my pill bottle out in the open. You know, where she's bound to see it."

Hmm. That plan was just so good it might work.


	18. Chapter 18

I rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. It was 9 am on Christmas morning. Then I rolled back over to see Josh dead asleep in bed. He looked so sweet, but I knew I had to wake him.

"Josh, wake up," I whispered into his ear. He didn't budge.

"Josh," I said rolling over on top of him. I gave him a kiss on the lips. "Wake up."

"Mmm, that's the best way to wake up," he said smiling. He rubbed his eyes and opened them.

"Merry Christmas," I said, still laying on him.

"Merry Christmas to you too," he said wrapping his arms around my back.

I smiled and rested my head against his chest.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear.

"I love you too," I mumbled into his chest.

"WAKE UP!" a voice yelled. The door banged open and Scott came in. Way to go, Scott. Ruin the perfect Christmas morning, lovey dovey, moment.

"Scott!" I yelled, jumping off Josh.

"What? It's time to open presents. Mom, Dad, and Kiran are in the living room. The only ones missing are you two. Now get up."

Josh jumped out of bed and I reluctantly stayed behind.

"I'll be out in a minute?" I said beggingly to Scott.

"Fine. But I want to open presents, so hurry up," he said shutting the door.

I got out of bed and walked over to where Josh was standing.

"I swear, he acts like a 5 year old sometimes," I said wrapping my arms around Josh.

He didn't say anything, just smiled at me. I kissed him before he could burst out laughing.

"You're cute, you know," he said after I pulled away.

"Yeah, yeah," I said. "We better get out to the living room before he comes back."

Josh followed me out to the living room, where everyone was sitting around the tree, just as Scott had said.

"Can I go first?" Scott asked mom. More with the 5 year old act.

"Sure," Mom said handing him a wrapped gift.

* * *

Because of family tradition, Scott opened all of his gifts first. Dad was next. He loved my gift, a power saw from the Home Depot. Mom came after him. She also loved my gift. I was next. Mom and Dad got me a leather bomber jacket that would have been way out of their price range if it wasn't from Burlington Coat Factory, Scott got me a Visa gift card, and Kiran got me a Saks gift card for $500. Yes, 500. Needless to say, I was excited for shopping.

"Here," Josh said, handing me a small velvet jewelry box. It was Tiffany blue. I could hear my mom gasp from across the room.

I slowly opened the box to find the most perfect pair of square ruby earrings. I let out a similar gasp to my mom's and ran across the room to her.

"Look, Mom," I said, forgetting that I was supposed to be mad at her.

She smiled, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked, not wanting her to cry. Especially when everything was so perfect.

"Nothing. Everything is just so…"

"Perfect?" I said, stealing the words from her mouth.

"Yes," she said, wiping her eyes. "Our family all here together. And you, with Josh, happier than I've ever seen you before. And Scott with Kiran," she said gazing over to where they were holding hands on the ottoman. More tears welled up in her eyes. "Excuse me," she said, heading out of the room towards the bathroom.

I walked over to Josh and wrapped my arms around his neck. "They're perfect, I love them," I whispered into his ear.

"I'm glad you like them," he said breaking out into a huge grin. "But when do I get to open my gift?" he asked jokingly.

"Right about now," I said after giving him a peck on the lips. "I love you," I added.

"I love you, too," he said smiling as I handed him an envelope. I smiled, just waiting for his excitement when he opened his gift.

He slowly slid his finger under the edge of the envelope.

"Could you be any slower?" I joked, laughing.

"Fine," he said, ripping open the envelope. He pulled out the brochure and keys. "What is this?" he asked curiously, turning the brochure around in his hands. He silently read it and then looked up at me, huge grin on his face.

"Aspen, Colorado?" he asked.

"I figured you'd like it," I said smiling back at him.

"I love snowboarding. When are we going?" he asked, looking like a little kid on, well, Christmas morning.

"Spring Break. I mean, if you didn't already have plans."

"Nope. Where are we staying?" he asked jingling the keys in his palm.

"Noelle's family has a place there."

"Ah, of course Noelle had something to do with this," he said. But he didn't sound angry. In fact, he sounded extremely happy.

"I love you," he said wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him.

"I love you too," I said. I was smiling when he started kissing me.

A minute later, my dad cleared his throat from his recliner in the corner. "That's enough, Reed," he said chuckling.

I pulled away from Josh and turned to find my mom also sitting in her recliner.

"We're going to Colorado for spring break," I said to her. "That was my gift to Josh. We're staying at Noelle's family house there."

My mom, ever the romantic, smiled at me.

"I'm just so glad to see you happy Reed," she said, genuine smile on her face. And for that morning, I was genuinely happy too. So happy that I forgot all about mom taking Josh's sleeping pills.

* * *

Later that day, Kiran and Josh made us a huge Christmas feast. I had no idea either of them could cook, but the food was amazing. After that, Mom, Dad, Scott, and Kiran went to the movies. Josh and I were conveniently alone, in my room, oh and did I mention, alone.

"I love the earrings, Josh," I said as I laid on my bed.

"More than you love me?" Josh asked, also lying on my bed.

"You know, just maybe," I said. His laugh boomed off the walls in the silent house.

"Well I really hope your just kidding," he said. Of course I was.

But I didn't respond with words. I simply leaned into kiss him. This of course, because we were alone, started a long make out session.

"I love you," I whispered as I attempted to pull of Josh's shirt.

"I love you too, Reed," he said, tugging at his shirt. But he wasn't tugging it off, he was tugging it back down. "But today is not the day," he said planting a kiss on my forehead.

I let out a long sigh. "I just want to, really, really, really badly," I said giving him a puppy dog look.

"That's a little obvious," he said smiling at me.

But I didn't smile back. "You act like you don't even want to," I said, being serious.

He let out a laugh. "Of course I want to, Reed. I just want to wait until the time is perfect. Don't I at least deserve that for my first time?"

In all seriousness, I could not believe he just said that. "Is that some kind of jab about how it wouldn't be my first time?" I asked, sitting up and scooting away from him. Now I was mad.

"Reed, no," he said, staring deep into my eyes. "I meant I want _our_ first time to be perfect. Regardless of past experiences."

I didn't say anything, I just stared blankly into space, arms crossed over my chest.

"Reed, don't be mad at me on Christmas," Josh said scooting closer to me. He put his hand to my cheek and forced me to look at him.

"I don't know," I said. It was all I could think to say. I could see that he didn't mean to make me mad, and that it wasn't a jab at how I wasn't a virgin, but I was still mad.

"What if I said I have one more present for you?" he said looking me right in the eyes.

This made me perk up. "What?!" I asked excitedly.

"I knew that would make you feel better," he said reaching into his pocket.

He had in his hand another Tiffany blue velvet box. He slowly opened the box to reveal a simple ring. It was a platinum band with circular channel-set diamonds. I was in love with it.

"Josh, this is…" I said breathless.

"It's a promise ring, which yeah, is kind of cheesy, but I thought you should have one."

"I love it," I said, still slightly breathless. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said smiling at me.

When he kissed me, I realized that this was what bliss felt like.


	19. Chapter 19

Bliss didn't last for long. More of Josh's pills went missing. Somebody, and I thought I knew who was taking them. The next morning, I followed through with the plan Josh proposed. His pills were going fast and I needed to prove it was mom before they all disappeared.

It was after breakfast when I set my plan into action. Dad, Scott, and Josh were out golfing again, Kiran was in the shower, and mom was doing the dishes in the kitchen. I set the bottle of pills on the coffee table, conveniently open for easy access. I had counted the pills, there were 13 left. If any went missing, Mom was taking them. If they didn't go missing, then I don't know. I wasn't prepared for that outcome.

After I put the pills in the living room, I called in mom to "watch television." She walked in, eyeing the pills, and sat down on the couch next to me.

"There's a day-after-Christmas marathon," I said, letting her know why she was here.

"Shh, the shows starting," she said, hushing me. The one thing mom loved more than her pills was her shows.

* * *

Several hours, and many "bathroom breaks" later, the marathon was over. I'd given mom many chances to take some pills, so I was expecting some to be gone. Mom excused herself to take a nap, which I was sure meant take some pills. I went to the bathroom, then took the pill bottle back to my room.

I dumped out the pills on my bed and slowly counted them. There were only 10 left. Mom had taken 3.

* * *

"I need to talk to you," I told Josh, grabbing his arm, just as soon as he entered the house that afternoon.

"What is it?" he asked, wondering why I was being so urgent.

"Just something. Come on," I said pulling him towards my room.

"What is it?" he asked as soon as I closed the door.

"So I took your idea and I left some pills out today. 3 went missing. I can't believe mom is up to this again."

He looked down at his hands, which were folded in his lap, and didn't speak.

"You're not even going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, still not looking at me.

"I don't know."

"Well I don't know what to say. This kind of thing has never happened to me before."

"Oh yeah. You and your perfect family."

"Reed-"

"I know, I know. I won't say it again. Although it's true."

It was silent for a short while.

"Just tell me everything is going to be okay?" I said, making it sound like a question.

He gave me a grim look. "I don't want to lie to you."

"Is my mom really that hopeless?" I asked.

"I don't know," Josh said taking my hand. "But maybe we should get her some help?"

* * *

"Mom," I called through the house. Mom wasn't in her room, where I was expecting to find her napping. In fact, the only people sleeping were Dad and Kiran.

"In here, honey," she called from the kitchen. What was she doing in there?

"I need to talk to you," I said entering the kitchen and sitting at the table.

"Yes," she said. I could see that she was confused. Why did I need to talk to her?

"Look, Mom, I know you took the pills. Today and all the other days. And we want to get you some help," I said calmly. I rehearsed what to say in my head just minutes ago.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Mom, I want you to go to rehab. What you're doing, with the drugs again, it's not healthy for you," I said. "I just want to help you," I added.

"Reed, I told you, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Mom, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've been stealing Josh's pills."

"No, I have not," she said uncrossing her arms and dropping them by her sides. Why was she being so stubborn? And why had she stolen those pills earlier and not taken them? She should be asleep right now.

"What's going on?" Scott said entering the kitchen.

"I have no idea, ask your sister," my mom answered.

"Scott, Mom's been stealing Josh's sleeping pills."

"Reed, what are you talking about?" Scott said. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure," I told him. "I'm positive."

"I don't think so," Scott said. "In fact, I remember seeing mom staying up late almost every night while we've been here. She's barely slept at all, just look the dark circles under her eyes."

For the first time, I surveyed my mom's face. She looked tired and older than usual. He wrinkles were more pronounced and she did, in fact, have dark circles under her eyes.

"Who else would have taken her pills?" I asked, dumbfounded. So mom wasn't sleeping. So mom didn't take the pills. But if not her, then who?

We all just sat there in silence, staring at each other.

Then it dawned on me. Who was the one who had a known wild side, the one who could mix any drink you wanted? Who was the one that was sleeping a lot? Who was the guest in the house?

It was Kiran. It was all Kiran. Kiran was the one who was taking the pills. Kiran was the one who'd really done it. I'd so easily blamed mom, without even thinking that it could have been anyone else. Scott went and woke Kiran up, and asked her point blank if she'd been taking the pills.

With a look of defeat on her face, Kiran had said yes.

* * *

"It's just that I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I figured no one would notice if I skimmed off the top of Josh's pills," she said as I entered Scott's room.

"Kiran…" I began.

"Reed, stay out of here," Scott said. "I need to talk to Kiran."

Mom and I stayed in the kitchen, staring blankly around the room, not sure what to do next. Josh came in and sat next to me, holding my hand.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," I'd said a million times as we waited for them to come out.

She'd told it was fine, that she understood my concern. But I still felt terrible. How had I so easily blamed it on my mom? And how could she so easily forgive me?

30 minutes later, Kiran and Scott emerged, looking cheery and holding hands.

"I'm so sorry, Josh," Kiran said. "It's just that I can't sleep lately and I was desperate for some rest. I shouldn't have done what I did."

Josh didn't say anything, so she turned to mom.

"And Mrs. Brennan, I'm sorry. I didn't know about the…um, situation. I'm sorry that this was blamed on you," she'd sincerely said.

"It's fine, Kiran. I can understand where Reed was coming from. She just went to the person with a past of taking prescription drugs."

"It's not though," I said. "Mom, how can you so easily forgive me? What I did was terrible, blaming you."

"Because you're my daughter and I love you. You make mistakes and I forgive you. Just like you forgive me when I make mistakes. It's called unconditional love."

So Mom forgave me. And Josh forgave Kiran. And for the rest of the night, we played Scrabble, like a happy little family. For the first time in my life, I was happy to be home.


	20. Chapter 20

hey everyone, finally a new chapter. sorry its been so long, i've just been so busy with school and everything. hope you like this, and i'll try to update again soon. please review!

* * *

I awoke to sunlight streaming in a window. It was cold, so I tried to pull my blanket back over my body, but my blanket was gone.

"Good morning, sunshine," I heard Josh's voice say.

Then I rolled over, opened my eyes, and found that I wasn't in my bedroom. I was in a limousine, laying on one of the leather seats.

"What are we doing?" I asked confused, still half asleep and rubbing my eyes.

"We're on the way to the airport in Philadelphia," he replied smiling at me. "You look so cute first thing in the morning," he added.

"Where are we going? And how did I get here?" I asked sitting up. I was still wearing my pajamas.

"It's a surprise. And I carried you."

"But what about my family? I don't get to say goodbye?"

His eyes widened. "Sorry, Reed. I didn't even think about that," he said. "I'm so sorry, again."

"It's okay, Josh. I'll just call them later. So how long until we get to the airport?" I asked curiously.

"About 2 hours," he replied, smiling at me widely again.

"What do we do until we get there?" I asked.

He smirked, like he was up to something. He slid over to me, so that he was sitting next to me and pulled me onto his lap. "I think I have an idea," he said leaning in to kiss me.

* * *

Two hours later, on schedule, we got to the airport. In the limo, I changed into jeans, a long sleeve T shirt, and my new red coat. We stepped out of the limo and I was surprised to find myself standing in front of Northeast Philadelphia Airport. This was a small airport with only 2 runways.

"Why the small airport?" I asked.

"We're flying private," Josh replied.

"Oh really?" I said, curious.

"Yep," he said, opening the door to the airport to me.

We entered the airport, where a man took our baggage to take it to the plane. We went through security and made our way to the one terminal of the airport. We sat there for about 10 minutes until they told us the plane was ready.

We stepped outside, where it was cold and windy. Josh took my hand and led me to a small private jet, ready for us with the door open and the staircase down.

The plane was pretty big inside, with 8 buttery leather seats. Josh and I took our seats in two chairs that were next to each other. He sat in the window seat and I sat in the isle seat. He lifted up the armrest in between them and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me.

"Welcome to the Marie," he whispered into my hair.

"The Marie?" I asked.

"It's my mom's name. Dad named the jet after her," he replied.

"Oh," I said. "So where are we flying to?"

"It's a surprise, remember. I'm not telling you," he said smiling.

"Fine," I said, slightly mad. I crossed my arms across my chest and scooted away from Josh.

"Don't tell me your mad," he said smiling and pulling me closer.

"Only slightly. But I'm more annoyed. I hate not knowing," I said smiling at him.

"You'll know soon enough," he replied.

"So, Josh, this proves even more that your family is perfect. You have a private jet and everything."

"Reed, please don't start that again."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we're not perfect," he said.

"Name one reason why you aren't," I said challenging him.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I have to take a billion meds just so I won't be depressed, or so I can sleep. Maybe the fact that without meds I go totally crazy. Don't you remember our first kiss?"

I was silent and shocked. Josh and I never really talked about all the issues he had. And then I remember our first kiss. I knew he'd been off the meds, but I didn't know that was why he'd been so forceful. What other things happened when he didn't take his meds? I subconsciously moved away from him, feeling a little scared.

"Oh, god. I shouldn't have brought up our first kiss. Now you're scared of me."

"No I'm not, Josh. How could I be scared of you?"

"Exactly what I was thinking."

After that, Josh had gone to sleep. I stayed up, worried that he was going to be mad at me now. Finally, 2 hours later, he woke up. I was pacing back and forth in the isle when he did.

"Reed, what are you doing?" he asked groggily.

"Pacing," I replied.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to be mad at me. I'm not scared of you, Josh. Just as long as you take your medicine."

"Oh yeah, because we can't have anymore nights like that one at school, when the police showed up," he joked. I shuddered at the memory of the night he'd been arrested for Thomas's death. The night he'd scared me to death.

I didn't say anything, so he instantly sat up, worried.

"I was just joking, Reed. I'm sorry," he said.

"I know. It's just not something I like to remember."

"I won't mention it again," he said. "But only if you come stop pacing and give me a kiss."

That's exactly what I did.


	21. Chapter 21

So, someone pointed out that Marie isn't Josh's mom's real name, and I know that. Haha, I just felt like changing it. And anyways, I just watched the Grammys on DVR (I finally had enough free time to watch it) and I got some inspiration from that so I decided to post sooner than I usually would. Anybody else feel inspired after watching it? :)

* * *

We stepped off the plane and onto a short runway. I looked to my left and all I saw was aqua blue ocean. It was breathtaking, like nothing I had ever seen before.

"What is this place?" I asked Josh.

"Saint Barthélemy island. AKA St. Barts. AKA Noelle's vacation paradise."

Wait, did he just say Noelle was here? That explained everything.

"So, Noelle is here?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yeah. I wasn't supposed to tell you, but whatever. I've kept enough secrets from you today," he said.

"Thank you," I responded taking his hand.

He led me to a black stretch limousine and opened the door for me.

"Noelle?" I asked. Limos were definitely not Josh's style. I should have suspected that when I woke up in the limo this morning.

"Yeah," he said grimacing.

"Josh," I said chastising him. "Please try to be nice to her. I thought you said you would."

"I know, I know. Old habits die hard I guess."

The limo pulled out of the airport and we made our way down a beachside highway. I stared out the window, amazed by the beauty of the ocean. We were surrounded by blue ocean and colorful plants. This truly was paradise.

* * *

30 minutes later, we stopped at a gate that came out of nowhere in the thick vegetation of the island. The gate opened and we entered. 5 minutes later, we pulled up to a palatial villa. It was all white stucco with a red thatched roof and tons of windows. It was beautiful. We stepped out of the limo and walked up to front porch, which was covered with southern style rocking chairs and wicker furniture.

"Oh my god everyone! Reed and Josh are here!" I heard through the heavy wooden front door.

I let out a laugh, recognizing Constance's excited voice.

"Someone is excited," Josh said smiling. He took my hand as the door opened. Noelle jumped out from behind it and smiled widely at me.

"So, do you love me, or do you love me?" she asked laughing.

"I love you," I said walking over to hug her. She gave me a big squeeze.

Then I turned around and looked inside the house.

The entry way was huge, with white tiled floors so shiny I swear I could see my face in them. There was a staircase off to the side that curved up the wall and a big white table with fresh tropical flowers. Surrounding the table, 11 Billings girls stood, looking at me. There was London and Vienna, looking very European after spending Christmas on Lake Como in Italy. There was Tiffany, who had a new camera hanging from her neck after a photo expedition to Morocco with her dad. Kiki stood with her iPod dock, playing new music she'd discovered after a trip to England with Astrid. Lorna and Missy stood, noses in the air, wearing tropical style dresses. Lorna secretly smiled at me though. Rose and Shelby stood, tanned from an expedition to Costa Rica. Constance stood next to everyone, a huge smile on her face, so happy to see me. And lastly there was Ivy, yes Ivy. She was standing next to Constance looking oh so chic yellow high waisted skirt and white tank top. She gave me a small smile, which I returned.

So Noelle had decided to include her on this trip. And that smile let me know that everything was going well. All the girls were excepting her into Billings. Well, at least I hoped that what the smile meant.

It took me about 20 seconds to take all of this in before Noelle dragged me into what I assumed was the living room. We were surrounded by white linen furniture and woven coffee tables. I smiled as the girls followed us into the room and took their seats next to their respective magazines and books. Josh followed, leaving our luggage in the entry way. Behind all the furniture were huge French style doors opening onto an infinity pool and a deck. The sun was setting, it was beautiful, and everything was perfect.

Josh and I took our seats on an empty linen couch.

"Sorry, Josh, all the guys are out golfing. They should be back soon though,"

"The guys?" I asked, wanting to know what guys were here.

"Oh you know, just Dash, Whit, Trey, and Gage."

"Oh," I said. "They're all here?"

"Yes, of course," Noelle said. "It's so much more fun with guys. Plus Joshy has guys to hang out with now."

"Noelle," Josh said quietly. "Can you show us our room; we're kind of tired from the flight." I gave him a look. I really wanted to hang out with my friends, not go to sleep.

"Well, I'll show you your room, but Reed isn't going anywhere. We've got to catch up. She has to hang out with us, at least for a little while. Please, Joshy," Noelle said, complete with puppy dog look.

"Whatever, Reed can decide," Josh replied, standing. I stood and followed him and Noelle up the stairs. We made our way down a long hallway and at the end, into a bedroom. It was large with tons of windows. There was a huge white canopy bed in the middle, with green woven pillows. There was a white desk on one side, a dresser with a flat screen TV on top, and a white chaise lounge. There were French doors that lead to a big porch. There was a view of the ocean, which was right below the edge of the infinity pool.

"Wow, Noelle. This is perfect," I said.

"I know. Dad bought this place 5 years ago. I've spent New Years here ever since."

"Noelle," Josh broke in.

"C'mon Reed," she said. "Let Joshy get some sleep."

"Stop calling me that," Josh said. I gave him a 'be nice' look. We'd talked about this before, in the limo. He was going to be nice to Noelle.

"Sorry," Noelle said. "It's just cute. Like you two together."

I let out a small laugh, and Josh looked at me betrayed. I thought the nickname was cute too.

"Noelle, I'll meet you downstairs," I said.

She left after that, and I walked over to Josh, who was sitting on the bed. I took a seat in his lap and gave him a kiss.

He pulled away after a second. "She's already getting on my nerves," he said quietly.

"I know. I'm sorry. She just wants to hang out. We haven't seen each other in a week."

"Oh my gosh, a whole week," he said sarcastically.

"You'd feel the same way if you didn't see me for a week," I reminded him.

"Point taken," he said looking defeated. "So I take it you want to go downstairs and hang out with them?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered. I didn't want him to get mad. I didn't want to fight over something as stupid as this.

"Fine. I'm going to sleep," he said, already looking mad.

"Josh, please. Let's not fight over something as stupid as this," I said standing up.

"It's not stupid," he said. "I just want to spend some time with you."

"Josh- we spent the whole day together on the plane. Please just let me be with my friends for a little bit. Constance and Ivy are down there, its not just Noelle."

"Like that makes me feel better," he said.

"Josh-" I said. But he cut me off.

"Reed, no. Don't even. Just let me sleep."

"Fine," I said walking out the door and slamming it.

If he was going to be possessive and mad like this, then I didn't want to be around him. I'd let him cool off a bit. I'm sure that when I climb in bed later he'll be okay.

* * *

I found the girls downstairs on the deck by the pool. They were sitting in white Adirondack chairs watching the sun set. I took a seat at the last chair, next to Ivy.

"Hey," I said to her.

"Hey, Reed," she said giving me a big smile.

"So, is it weird being here or what?" I asked her. It had to be a little weird being back in Billings.

"Just a little," she replied. "But Noelle has been really cool."

"How are the other girls treating you?"

She laughed a little. "Pretty good. Except that Missy girl. She's really bitchy. But I think Noelle threatened them into treating me well or something. But Astrid and Constance are really nice, probably genuinely also."

"Oh yeah. I'd hope they'd be nice to you. And yeah, Astrid and Constance are two of my best friends in Billings."

"Yeah, I figured. Constance was so excited to see you."

I laughed. "So how long have you guys been down here?" I asked.

"Since the day after Christmas," she replied. Noelle called me the day after everyone left for break and told me that she'd been planning this huge Billings trip and I was invited. She just told me not to tell you- no one did. It was a surprise, huh?"

"Yeah. Josh wouldn't even tell me where we were going until we got off the plane."

"That's cool. I'm glad you are Josh are doing well," she said, with a bittersweet look on her face.

"Yeah, he came to meet my family over Christmas. It was fun," I said, not wanting to rub it in her face too much.

"Well, Gage has been flirting with me like crazy this whole trip. I think the only reason he got invited is because of me."

I let out a small laugh. "Noelle the matchmaker," I said.

"I'm not too sure if I want to get back together with him though. But I'll see how things go. I told him he has to stop being a jerk all the time if he wants me back. I mean, after being with Josh and being treated like a princess, I don't even want to go back to how Gage treated me."

"Yeah," I said. "After being with Thomas, dating Josh is heaven," I said. It was one of the only times I'd mentioned Thomas since his death. But it was okay. I was okay with it now. Sure, all the Ariana drama was terrible, but I was trying to get over it. Now that everything was back to normal and Sabine was gone, there was no reason why I shouldn't.

* * *

I tiptoed into our room late that night and climbed into bed, trying not to disturb Josh.

"Hi," he whispered. I jumped, not expecting him to be awake.

"Hey," I replied.

"I couldn't really sleep. I was thinking about you."

"Oh really," I said.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of you wanting to hang out with your friends. That was, uh…really possessive and out of line."

"I'm glad you feel that way," I said smiling at him.

"So did you have fun?" he asked, pulling me close to him and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Yeah, Ivy and I hung out most of the time. We talked and caught up."

"You and Ivy. That's crazy. You used to hate each other."

"I know. She's really cool though. And really nice, when she wants to be."

"Yeah. I'm glad you guys are friends."

"Me too," I said.

Then he put his hand on my chin and pulled my face up to his. He brushed his lips against my gently, in the sweetest kiss ever.

And yes, like I said before, everything was perfect.

* * *

yay a long chapter! happy now?


	22. read now!

HOLY CRAPOLA

for those of you who didn't know, **PARADISE LOST IS NOW AVALIABLE ON THE BARNES AND NOBLE WEDSITE** ()

I am so excited to tell you this. I ordered mine yesterday and it should come with overnight shipping on Monday. I'm so so so excited. Anyways, just wanted to let you all know that you don't have to wait until February 28th to read Paradise Lost.

I'll still continue my story until its over (Which will be in like 2-3 chapters) and I'm still not sure whether I'll do a story about Suspicion because I really have no time. But maybe I'll be inspired enough to do that. But I think I'm going to start writing some Reed/Josh moments in Josh's POV because I'm really good at the whole Reed and Josh romance thing.

And sorry if you were hoping this was a new chapter. I'll probably post that next weekend. (or maybe sooner, if reading Paradise Lost gives me inspiration) because right now I haven't even started writing the next chapter because I have no idea what to write about. Any suggestions? What do you guys want to see happen?

Oh and last note, I have a big big big HUGE ending planned for this story that will shock you all. But I just don't know what to do in the chapters until I get to the end. Here's a hint- there will be a big party, Josh and Reed will get some alone time, and Reed's secret admirer will return. Any guesses on whats going to happen?


	23. Paradise Lost The Real Thing

Just so you know, I got my copy of Paradise Lost in the mail today and read it all afternoon. If your wondering how I already got my copy, go back and read my post before this.

While it was pretty good, it wasn't Kate Brian's best. I enjoyed it, but it's not the best book out of the whole series like I was expecting it to be.

Most of all, I'm just mad at the major cliffhanger and the fact that JOSH WAS NOT IN IT! As a major Josh/Reed fan, this was very disappointing.

Reed does get a new man, and while that's interesting, he just isn't the Josh we know and love. I'm just hoping that Suspicion will bring Josh and Reed back together.

Now I'll have to wait until September, which is a bummer.

**Lastly, anyone who wants me to finish this story, leave a review and say so, otherwise I'm not even going to bother.**


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